


To Your Care

by Anonymous



Category: Star Trek RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Blindfolds, Blowjobs, Collars, Comfort, Dom/sub, Explicit Sex, Fingerfucking, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Masturbation, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Ownership, Restraints, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-11
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-25 00:37:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2602157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>for the <a href="http://pintokinkmeme.livejournal.com/925.html?thread=6301#t6301">kink meme</a>: Chris just wants to belong. How he tries to fulfill that need is stupid, reckless, dangerous. That Zach finds him in time when things go wrong is pure dumb luck. This time Chris got away (mostly) unharmed. But what about next time? Only Zach's not really into that kind of thing at all. Or is he? And if he is, how far is he willing to go, to explore himself, to keep Chris safe ... to make Chris his?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sown a Seed

"Where the hell did you take me?" Zach asks, looking around the dark club. Matt snorts into his drink.

"You said you wanted to go somewhere new."

"Yeah, but… Is that guy carrying a _whip_?"

"Why? Do you want to follow him?"

Zach's nose wrinkles. "Not really into being whipped."

"No?" Matt eyes him over his glass. "Have you ever tried it?"

Zach taps at his own glass. "I had a boyfriend who was into the kinky stuff once. He liked to spank me. I wasn't such a fan."

Matt laughs; _at_ him, because he always does. "You should have offered to spank him instead."

Zach makes a face. "I did. He wasn't interested. We broke up."

"Aha! So you _are_ into the kinky stuff. You just want to be the spanker instead of the spankee. I should have known."

"God, will you shut up," Zach is laughing now too, shaking his head at his very annoying friend.

"No, seriously, I can totally see that. You were always an aggressive top."

"We fucked _once_ ," he points out, but Matt shrugs.

"Statement still stands. Just look around this place and tell me you don't want to make one of those gorgeous boys out there beg for your cock."

It's an interesting thought; his cock likes the idea anyway. And there are too many gorgeous guys to count, some of them in leather; some not. Some in collars too, being led around by other guys.

And it's not as though Zach has never made a guy beg in bed before. And he's not exactly a bottom, although he will be if he likes someone enough. Which doesn't happen very often.

"Come on, just go out there," Matt prompts him. "You look great tonight. They'll be all over you."

But Zach shakes his head. He's too old for one-offs in clubs. Tempting though it is.

Matt sighs, "You're no fun."

"You go out there, then," Zach huffs, nudging at his shoulder but Matt grimaces.

"I'm too fucking old to let some twink suck me off in a dark corner. Shut up," he grumbles when Zach smirks at him. "Fine, terrible idea. Let's just go haunt an Applebee's instead."

"Okay, seriously," Zach says as he pushes off the bar, "we're not that old."

He does wish it wasn't quite so loud as they make their way back through the wall of writhing bodies. Several bodies that seem to want him to stay for a little dancing—or sucking, depending on the guy.

And it's not that he's not flattered—he's fucking _tempted_ , but he has no idea what the rules are in a club like this and half the guys have collars around their necks and Zach might be clueless but he thinks that means something, and he has zero interest in getting beat up by someone's master, or however the fuck it works.

"You're insane," he mutters to Matt, who just looks amused all over again as Zach extracts himself from a half-naked guy. "I'm going to get you back for this, don't think I won't."

"You're such a baby, come on." Matt grabs his arm and tugs him out the door.

He's not really watching where he's going, and neither is Matt so Zach almost runs down some guy stumbling near the door.

"Sorry," Zach says quickly, reaching out to steady him and has to do a double take. " _Chris_?"

The guy—who is definitely Chris—stiffens. Zach's mouth drops open. His face is bruised, a trickle of blood running down his chin. "What the hell happened to you?"

Matt comes back to see what's holding him up; looks over his shoulder. "Zach? Chris? Oh my god…"

Zach shakes him off, turning with Chris as he grimaces and tries to turn away from both of them. "Chris?" he asks softly, tentatively reaching out for his arm and even though he stiffens again, Chris doesn't pull away this time. "Are you… are you okay?"

Chris swallows, but keeps his head down. His voice is hoarse when he answers, "I'm fine."

He's obviously not. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Chris breathes, shaking his head again. "Just nothing, I have to go."

"Wait," Zach says quickly, catching at his arm and Chris doesn't fight him but he keeps his face turned away; he's blinking rapidly. "Matt," Zach says over his shoulder, "I'm going to take him home, okay?"

"Sure." Matt squeezes his shoulder. "I'll see you later."

Matt lives nearby, so he flips up his coat collar and heads out into the darkness while Zach tries to figure out what the hell is going on with Chris. "Were you… Were you mugged?"

But Chris shakes his head, and it occurs to Zach—obvious, so obvious. "Were you…" How to ask that kind of question. "… in the club back there?"

Chris lets out his breath. "You don't need to take me home. I'm fine." He swallows again, glances over briefly and says quietly, "Thanks though."

He starts to move away; he's limping. Zach stays in step with him. "Just let me make sure you get home, okay?" he asks, hunching down against the wind.

Chris doesn't answer, so Zach takes that for agreement—not refusal anyway. Eventually, when it seems like Chris might intend to walk the three miles home, Zach asks, "Um… do you want me to get a cab?"

Chris shakes his head, but it's too far to walk; especially with Chris limping.

"Just let me get one, okay? Let me help."

Chris licks at his lip, doesn't look at him as he nods jerkily. Relieved, Zach hails the first cab he sees, and luckily it stops. Zach gives the driver Chris' address. It doesn't take long to get there, which is probably good since Chris spends the ride stiff and at the other end of the bench.

The bleeding has stopped, as far as Zach can see. But it's dark, shadows hiding most of Chris' face.

The cab pulls up on Zach's side, so Chris has to wait while Zach pays the driver; after protesting and being hushed. Zach gets out, and Chris follows. He ducks his head, mumbling a thank you before turning toward his front door. He stops walking when Zach falls in step with him again.

"You don't have to—"

"Just to make sure you get in."

"Zach— I'm not, I'm fine okay?"

"Okay," Zach agrees. "Then, tell me what happened? Or let me make sure you get inside safely." He lifts his eyebrows, hoping he's making some kind of point. Chris just sighs and they walk up to his house together.

He takes the keys from Chris' fumbling fingers and holds the door open. Chris doesn't even bother protesting, just limps inside.

"Are they supposed to hit you like that?" he asks before he can stop himself, but he can't wish he didn't ask. Chris looks awful now that they're inside. "I mean, it looks like someone punched you in the face."

"No one punched me in the face." Chris is moving into the living room—into the kitchen, his voice resigned instead of irritated. And he's not asking Zach to leave. So, Zach takes off his coat, hangs it up on one of the hooks near the door and follows after.

"How did it happen, then? I mean, it's a kink club, right?"

"Well, you should know since you were there." Chris plunks down a beer on the counter, opens one for himself and takes a long drink. Maybe he's just a little annoyed. He's frowning across the counter at Zach.

"Matt took me there to be an asshole," Zach explains. "But that's what it is, right? Some kind of BDSM club?"

"Yeah. It is," Chris says gruffly, taking another mouthful of beer and staring off to the left. "So what?"

"Okay," Zach draws out the word, frowning at Chris as he tries to understand. Half of his face is bruised up and Zach has to stop his jaw from clenching. "And you're… you like getting…" He can't quite manage the word though, and actually he's not sure what the word is. Spanked? Whipped? Hit in the fucking face?

"I'm a sub, Zach," Chris says it on a sigh, plunking the bottle on the counter so it echoes.

Zach swallows. Well, that's a word. He nods. "Okay."

Chris finally turns back to look at him, so that Zach can see the extent of the damage. The scraping along his cheek, which looks more like someone shoved him up against something. Like a brick wall. The squeezing sensation in Zach's chest is unpleasant; he feels queasy.

He picks up the beer; just to have something to do. He puts it down again and says, "You should put something on that."

"It's fine."

"It's not. It'll just bruise worse, if you don't." He moves around the counter, uninvited, to root through the freezer. Chris doesn't stop him. When Zach comes back with a bag of frozen corn, he open his mouth, probably to protest, but Zach just nudges him gently toward one of the stools. "You don't have any ice."

Chris winces, but lets him have his way.

"It's a good thing we haven't started principle photography yet," Zach says, half under his breath. The tight feeling is back in his chest. They're just doing read-throughs for the sequel now. Costume fittings. "Is this what happens every time you… go there?"

Chris closes his eyes. "Look, I don't really want to talk about this, okay?" He pulls his face away, taking the corn along with it at least, so Zach lets him go. "Thanks for…" He makes a vague gesture. "I'm just gonna go to bed."

An invitation to leave, as plain as day. And none of this is Zach's business, so he should take it. Instead he says, "You should put something on the scrapes. And your lip—"

"I know," Chris says tiredly.

"And whatever happened to your leg…"

Chris just blinks at him in confusion.

"You were limping," Zach points out.

Chris closes his eyes again. "I'll take care of it. Seriously, man, thanks, but I'm fine."

"You're obviously not," Zach retorts, with more heat than he means. "What the hell are you even doing, going to a club like that? It can't be—"

"What?" Chris demands, fingers clenching around the frozen corn as he takes it off his face. "Normal?"

"I was going to say, _good for you_ ," Zach says through his teeth. "If you look like that when you get done—"

"What do you even care?" Chris demands, his voice rising a little.

"Because—damn it, Chris, I'm worried about you!"

They stare at each other for a long minute, long enough for Zach to realise he's being a dick, but Chris looks away first.

"You don't need to be," he mumbles. Zach lets his breath out carefully, stupidly grateful that he's not annoyed.

"Well, I am," he says quietly.

"Why?" Chris asks scratchily.

"I just… I don't like the idea of someone… hurting you like that. Leaving you like that."

Chris swallows, eyes trained on the counter. "It's not always so bad."

But Zach can hear the lie. It makes his stomach clench all over again. "You shouldn't… I mean I get that you like—" Zach's face is heating, but he ploughs forward anyway, "—being a sub. I get that, but there has to be, I don't know, a better way to do it than with people you don't know. Someone who will take better care of you? I mean, uh, the other partner does that, right? Takes care of their sub… after?"

"If you're in a relationship, I guess. I've never really… They're not always so rough," he says the words quickly, punching them out and then presses his lips together like he regrets it.

And Zach doesn't really know what to say. Except. "Look," he says quietly, sliding his arms forward where they rest on the counter, and Chris doesn't look away this time, "I know it's none of my business, but I don't think you should go back there. Just promise me you'll be careful, okay?"

"Yeah, I will," Chris says; too quickly. Zach frowns, wanting to order him not to go back there. It's an unsettling feeling; inappropriate. Chris is an adult, and Zach has no right to tell him what to do—with his sex life or anything else.

"Do you… need anything?" he asks, helpless to know what else to say if he can't order him to stay away from clubs like that.

"No," Chris says softly, still hoarse. He squeezes his bag of corn. "Thanks though."

Zach stands slowly. "I'll let you get some sleep. You'll… you can call me if you need anything. Okay?"

"Sure, Zach." Totally unconvincing, the smile he uses when he's uncomfortable. Zach hasn't ever experienced it first hand, and he doesn't like it at all. But there's nothing else to do here, he guesses. And he hates that too.


	2. just a step

He watches Chris the next morning; when his attention really should be with the script changes. He watches Chris not looking at him. They're sitting right next to each other. Because they have been since day one, and everyone else just filled in the rest of the seats around them.

Just like they did today, even though Chris was the last one to arrive.

His face looks worse, bruises darker, lip a little puffy. He had to field questions from all around the table when he came in, mostly because no one would suspect Chris of looking for a fight.

And if you didn't know better, a fight is exactly what it looks like he got up to last night.

Except Zach knows better.

He tries to catch Chris before he goes, but he mumbles something about a meeting and leaves without another word. His limp is better, but Zach's thoughts stay with him for the rest of the day.

He finds himself thinking of him in the shower that night, the nameless face he's jacking off to slowly shifting—blue eyes that can only be Chris'; his jaw, the scruff he's been sporting lately.

He thinks about what it might be like to order Chris to beg for his cock, to make him get on his knees, mouth wide while Zach pushes in. He comes with a groan, jizz spurting onto the tiles.

Breathing heavily, Zach turns his face into the spray and tells himself that it's just normal fantasy. It's not even the first time he's thought about Chris while getting himself off. He tries not to, really. It's not the best idea to mix business and pleasure, especially not with Chris.

He cares too much about him—about their friendship—to ever jeopardize it. Not even finding out Chris isn't straight last year was enough to make him cross that line.

And now that he knows Chris likes… to sub. That makes him even less likely to want Zach. Because Zach might be a top—might even be an aggressive top, but he's certainly not the leading Chris around on a leash kind of top.

He closes his eyes, because fuck, he should not be thinking about his co-star like that; with a collar around his neck, like that guy at the club. It's just… wrong.

So, Zach rinses off quickly and gets out of the shower. And forces himself not to think about Chris again.

-o-

He doesn't see him for two days—it's the weekend. Zach texts him on Sunday, just a casual query about getting coffees. They live close enough. Chris doesn't text back for a few hours, and when he does it's to say he's got family stuff.

Zach doesn't stew about it at all.

But by the time Monday morning and script reading rolls around, he's probably too anxious about seeing him; even though he has no reason to be.

He's the last one in again, eyes down as he shuffles around to his place beside Zach.

"Hey," Zach greets him with a smile. "Did you have fun with your family?"

"What? Oh," Chris says quickly, nodding. "Yeah, I did. Thanks." He turns to say something to Karl, ducking in a second later to look at a picture, of his kids probably, and Zach's eyes zero in on Chris' neck.

On the dark bruise—one that looks suspiciously like a finger print. He's almost positive it wasn't there the other day.

Unwelcome heat tightens Zach's chest as he stares down at his script. He tries not to look over at him again, because what's the point? He can't see beneath his heavy cardigan; can't see if there are other bruises. The ones on his face are healing, but how many new ones are there?

Had he been limping again?

Zach clenches his teeth. So what if Chris did go to a club again? Just because he's said he'd be careful.

Maybe being choked is being careful in his mind.

"Do you have a pencil?"

Zach blinks. Chris is gazing at him expectantly, that fake smile all the more irritating. It falters, though, when Zach doesn't answer.

"I, uh, can't find mine…"

"Here," Karl says, handing one over just as J.J. starts talking. Chris stares at Zach for a beat too long, before murmuring a thanks to Karl and turning his attention to his script.

But Zach can't concentrate. Not that he's really trying. His fingers are twisted around his own pencil, and he wants to have another look at that bruise. The finger-shaped bruise that absolutely wasn't there the other day.

Before he can stop himself, he leans over and says out of the side of his mouth, "You promised you'd be careful."

Chris glances over at him. "What?"

"With the club," Zach hisses, although he keeps his eyes forward, at least a pretense at paying attention to J.J. telling them how important it is that no one finds out anything about the sequel. "You have a bruise on your neck."

Chris' head moves, dips down like he knows exactly where the bruise is. He frowns and says quietly, "I'm fine."

"You're obviously not—"

Chris' fingers curl over his script, his jaw hard. "Just leave it," he says through his teeth.

"Uh, Zach?" J.J.'s impatient voice breaks in. "Chris? Is there a problem?"

Zach pulls his eyes away from Chris, reluctant and more annoyed than he has any right to be. "No, we're great," he say with such perfect, studied ease that J.J. doesn't even linger. He moves right along to whatever the hell he was talking about before. Chris, Zach notices, sits up straighter, effectively putting space between them.

And that just makes focusing more difficult.

-o-

He brings a pizza over to Chris' house that night. And his favorite beer. He figures he'll need both if he wants to pretend that everything's normal. If he wants to make everything normal; like it used to be. Chris left the script reading again without letting Zach talk to him; mumbling excuses that he's pretty sure are lies.

So when Chris opens the door, Zach gives him his best smile. After a brief hesitation for surprise, Chris smiles a little too, and lets him in. Zach does his best to hide his relief. 

Chris finds plates while Zach sets everything on the counter. He's still wearing a thick cardigan; it hides his neck completely from view. His limp seems to be gone though, and Zach is relieved all over again.

He still has the same tight feeling in his chest, even though everything seems fine. Chris isn't tensed up. He's smiling his normal, easy smile as he hands over one of the bottles of beer, the top already flipped off.

Zach trades him for a slice of pizza. "Thanks," Chris says, sighing contentedly as he takes a big bite. "I thought you were off carbs," he says around a mouthful. They're both supposed to be in training.

"One pizza can't hurt."

"But you're not the one who has to be half naked onscreen." Chris makes a face, always so weirdly uncomfortable about his body being on display.

"You look great though," Zach tells him, but Chris just shrugs.

"Want to find something on TV?" he asks. "I have a few new DVDs too, if you want."

So they move along to the living room, pizza and beer in tow. It's just like any other time they've hung out together. Or it would be except Zach is alert to every movement. The bruises are still there, even thought they're faded, and sometimes Chris winces when he seems to have no reason to.

Eventually, he takes a bathroom break, and Zach waits for him, turning the remote over and over in his hands. When Chris comes back, the cardigan is unzipped, and that same bruise is peeking out from under his t-shirt.

Unaware that Zach's heartbeat has picked up, Chris settles beside him on the couch. "Ready?" he asks, reaching for the remote, but Zach pulls it back; out of reach. Chris tilts his head, confused.

"Can you explain it to me?" Zach asks, knowing it might undo the pizza's hard work, but not caring. "About what you like so much about going to those clubs?"

Chris stares at him, just for a beat, before frowning. "Zach-" He shakes his head. "Why? Why are you so interested?"

"I already told you. I'm worried about you. And I just want to understand," Zach says quickly, before Chris can protest again. "Did he… whoever he was… Did he choke you?"

Chris' hand immediately goes to his neck, to cover the bruise. His face is flushing red. "Zach." He takes a deep breath, as though he's convincing himself not to yell; which Zach is grateful for. "I don't want to talk about this. I'm fine, I promise."

"But can't you explain it?" Zach asks, sliding forward on the couch; so his knee is pressed into Chris' thigh. "I just want to understand."

Chris swallows. "What don't you understand? I like subbing. Whatever you like in bed, that's what you like, right? It's just what it is."

"But that's not it. I mean, you could have sex with—well, fuck with anyone. And you could bottom if that's what you like."

Chris closes his eyes briefly, pushes his breath out. "It's not just bottoming, Zach… And not everyone is into that stuff. Christ, why are we talking about this?"

"Because I'm trying to understand. If it's not just bottoming…?"

"You won't understand."

"You don't know that."

"I do know that," Chris snaps. "Because people don't. They think it's weird. You think it's weird."

"I don't think it's weird, Chris," Zach says quietly, trying to put all his sincerity in those few words. "I don't. Everyone likes different things. Different... kinks, or, uh... whatever…" He sounds like an idiot. And judging by Chris' expression, he agrees.

"It's not just the kinks, okay?" he says tiredly.

"Then what is it?"

Chris makes a frustrated noise and flops back against the couch. "Just leave it, okay?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because you're hurting yourself, and I don't like it."

"It's not up to you!"

"Well, what it if it was?" Zach snaps back, the words unplanned and once they're out, he's not sure he actually said them. Chris blinks at him; slowly.

"It's… not," he says, but there's a rise of confusion at the end. Zach's heart is beating too fast. It's irrational; _insane_.

"But what if it was?" he asks, ignoring the way it comes out as a warble. "If I wanted to… be that person for you, would you stay out of those clubs?"

Chris sits up slowly, but doesn't move closer; just straightens. "Zach, I appreciate your concern, really I do, but you don't…" His throat ripples as he swallows; looks away for a second. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know," Zach agrees, although he can see that's not what Chris expects him to do. "I have no idea what I'm talking about. The kinkiest thing I've ever done is making a guy beg for my cock…" He trails off because Chris is flushed again.

With arousal. Zach might not understand kink, but he knows what a guy looks like when he's aroused. He forces himself not to look at Chris' crotch.

"It's not," Chris' voice is strained. "It's not about the kink. I mean, it is but… "

"But what? What is so important to you?"

Chris looks away, but he takes a deep breath and eventually answers, "It's nice to belong to someone like that. To be what they need in that way—to need them too." He turns back to look at Zach, waves a vague hand and smiles falsely; trying to cover the other words. "It's just nice to just get out of my head sometimes."

And put like that—Zach gets it. Chris drives himself crazy, stressing over paparazzi, and getting lines right. Trying too hard to be what other people think he's supposed to be. Zach has seen him break down, and he always felt helpless when it happened.

Useless.

The thought of actually being the one that Chris turns to… the one Chris trusts…

It makes his chest ache. The good kind of ache, the one he wants more of.

"Okay," he says quietly, but Chris just look confused. "I can be that for you," Zach tells him more plainly. "I want to be that for you."

Chris is frowning at him. "Zach… you can't."

"Why not? I know you're attracted to me." He lifts his eyebrows, not really meaning to make it a challenge, even if it sort of is. One that just makes Chris' face heat again. And honestly, Zach thinks he might like to exploit that. Not now, but… eventually. "And obviously," he goes on, smiling now, "I'm attracted to you." He doesn't mention the shower fantasies.

"Obviously?" Chris' voice comes out scratchy. He shakes his head quickly, swallows. "You never said anything."

"Neither did you," Zach points out, and waits for Chris to deny the attraction. He doesn't. He looks sort of like a frightened deer, though. "I want to do this," Zach says quietly, wanting to reach out and… touch some part of him. Chris is staring at him, studying his face.

"This is just because you don't want me to go back to that club," he says, and the idea obviously upsets him. His hands are curled into his palms. "You don't have to…"

Zach slides forward, closer so they're legs are pressed together again. "It's not just that." It's a big part of it. "I want to take care of you. I'd actually really like to kiss you right now."

Chris inhales slowly, gaze fastened to Zach's lips. "But… are you even..." He licks his lips, eyes moving to Zach's. "I mean, you actually want to…"

"Fuck you?" Zach prompts, smiling; teasing a little. "I think I could manage it." He brushes his fingers down Chris' jaw, and it makes Chris' breath hitch. Encouraged, Zach cups his face and leans in to kiss him. It's gentle, but Chris responds immediately, opening to him when Zach's tongue prods.

Chris' hands find their way to his shirt, gripping the material tightly when Zach tugs him closer. And when Zach finally pulls back, out of breath and exhilarated, Chris doesn't let go. His lips are swollen, eyes bright as he blinks at him.

"That was good, right?" Zach asks, even though he can see it very obviously was. Chris nods clumsily.

"But, I'm…"

Zach waits, trying not to be amused and finally prompts, "You're…"

"A sub," Chris says quietly.

"I know."

Chris still hasn't let him go. "And you want to… Are you sure?"

Truthfully, Zach isn't. But he knows he's good in bed. And he prefers to top. Chris is a bottom, so how different can it actually be? First and foremost, he just needs to be sure Chris won't get himself hurt again. He can satisfy Chris in bed, he thinks. Probably enough that he might not care about the kinky stuff. "If _you_ are," he says quietly. "But it would have to be… um, exclusive? Just you and me. No clubs."

Chris nods, that soft flush suffusing his cheeks again. "OK." He still seems nervous though, unsure; so Zach leans in to kiss him again and he likes the way Chris' grip tightens. He likes it very much.


	3. If, at first

He picks up Chris in the morning, to drive together to their scheduled training session. It's not unheard of for them to carpool. He doesn't usually pull up to Chris' house with his stomach in tangles though. And not just because he's excited to see him.

He smiles though when he slides into the car. "Hey."

"Hey." Chris' answering smile is shy, tentative. And that makes Zach feel a little better. He half-expected Chris to have gone back to the club after he left last night. But it seems like they're still on the same page. He hopes so, anyway. He waits for Chris to buckle up before he backs out of the driveway and moves onto the street. "You ready to spar with Simon?"

Chris laughs at that, and Zach smiles to hear it. Simon never takes their training seriously, but at least it's always fun. Benedict, on the other, hand, is always serious, but Zach prefers it that way.

"You probably shouldn't have had that pizza," Chris teases. "Ben will eat you alive."

"Hey, I've been training just as hard as he has."

Chris smiles, amused at his offense. "He's like this machine though."

"Spock is the one who wins, you know."

"Yeah, because Uhura shoots him like a thousand times." He grins at Zach's huff. "Don't worry, I'm sure you could beat Benedict in a fight."

Zach snorts. He's sure he couldn't, but he likes the teasing glint in Chris' eye too much to argue.

-o-

Simon and Benedict are already in the locker room when they get there, along with everyone else. No one raises an eyebrow at their arrival together. Chris parks himself in front of the locker he always uses; right next to Zach's and sets to work pulling off his heavy cardigan—a blue one this time. Zach idly wonders how many he has.

And he knows it's dickish to survey Chris' skin as it's revealed. Not to appreciate his muscle tone—which he does—but to check for new bruises. To get a better view of the fingerprints which are fading fast on his neck.

There doesn't seem to be anything new, but it's still difficult to look away from the marks. Marks someone else made; and then just left Chris to take care of them himself when he was finished.

Zach looks away, his chest tight. It doesn't matter, he tries to tell himself. Not anymore. Not now that Chris has agreed not to go back there. If Zach can figure out how to satisfy him.

He can though. It's never been a problem before.

"You okay?" Chris asks quietly, interrupting his internal confidence-boosting. Zach looks over at him, to find him ready to go out to the gym when he hasn't even taken off his sweater yet.

"Just finding the right headspace," he says with a smile and Chris nods; smiles back. He waits while Zach pulls off his sweater. He's wearing a tank top underneath it and he's ridiculously pleased at the way Chris' eyes wander over his shoulders, down his arms. When they come back to Zach's face, Zach grins.

Chris smiles too, biting at his bottom lip before turning to go, Zach just a step behind. Definitely, this is going to work, he thinks. No problem at all.

-o-

They go back to Zach's place after lunch with everyone. It's not that he was really planning more kissing on the couch, but it happens that way. After they've wrestled with Noah and been dismissed by Harold.

It starts with finding Pride and Prejudice on tv—about which Chris is inexplicably excited—and ends up with both of them more interested in each other than Mr. Darcy's longing looks.

"Do you want to…" Chris lets Zach swallow the words up. They've been kissing for awhile, long enough that they're both settled against the cushions and pressed close enough that Zach can feel his erection. And he does want to. He kisses Chris for a few seconds longer before pulling back to mouth along his jaw; the side without the fading bruises.

"Not yet," he murmurs, because he's not an idiot and he's figured out by now that the limping had nothing to do with a twisted ankle. And he doesn't want to do anything that might hurt him. Besides, he's not sure he likes the idea of fucking Chris with someone else's marks decorating his skin.

Chris doesn't argue with him, doesn't even say anything; just lets Zach kiss him when their mouths meet again. Maybe he should explain, but it sounds too possessive, and he doesn't really want to talk about the club again. Or the reason Chris was limping.

He _really_ doesn't want to talk about that.

And actually, just thinking about it makes his own erection wilt. He kisses Chris once more before pulling away. "Do you want to finish watching the movie?"

"Sure." He's a little breathless. And Zach doesn't miss the attempt at discreet adjusting. And maybe it would be okay… to just…

He dips his head, moving in so that Chris has to lean back into the cushions.

He lets his hand drift down Chris' chest, stopping when he reaches his waist; likes the catch in his breathing. "May I?" he asks against his lips.

Chris nods jerkily, hips lifting up and that's all the invitation Zach needs. He keeps kissing him while he works his zipper. It should be strange to feel the outline of Chris' dick straining against his underwear, but it's not. It twitches against his palm, and that's… he hums in appreciation before he can stop himself, but that just makes Chris press up into him.

Just for a second before his hips settle into the cushions again. "Sorry…"

Zach shakes his head, unsure why he thinks the apology is necessary. It's not. He likes the way Chris is responding; the tension in his thighs, the bit of lower abdomen that's exposed; just a dusting of hair below his belly button. He keeps his mouth against Chris' jaw, kissing gently as he pulls his dick out. It's hot, flushed already and it makes Zach's mouth water. But maybe later; right now he just wants to touch. To feel the velvet skin against his palm.

Chris' breathing has picked up, and Zach asks, mouth just beneath his ear now, "This okay?"

Biting at his bottom lip, Chris nods. Zach smiles, moves in to kiss him while his hand works over Chris' cock, catching pre-come with his thumb and when that's not enough, he pulls away, leaving Chris panting. But just for a second while he licks at his own palm and that's better. Smoother.

Chris seems to like it well enough, his head dropping back, eyes closed. So Zach lets him stay like that, slides his other hand beneath his underwear to cup his balls, watching his face carefully to see what he likes. He isn't making any noise, but actively biting at his lip and Zach isn't sure if he's just naturally quiet or if he's embarrassed.

He hopes it's not embarrassment. He keeps working over his dick, rolling his balls with the other hand and then goes back to kiss him; to tug his teeth from their gnawing.

Chris offers no protest to that either, just kisses him back. Hungrily, and it makes Zach's dick throb. He moves over him; to straddle his lap even as he keeps jerking his dick, paying close attention to the head, to his slit; and his balls since Chris seems to like it so much.

His hand is still caught in Zach's t-shirt, and it tightens and relaxes at intervals, although Zach isn't sure what influences it. Maybe he wants to touch too.

Zach wonders briefly if he's always so passive, but doesn't linger on that thought. He retrieves his hand from Chris' balls and undoes his own zipper. "Do you want to..." he asks, breathless himself. Chris moves immediately, fumbling when he gets to Zach's underwear, but he has his cock in hand a second later.

It's an awkward angle, but he knows exactly what he's doing. Zach has to move off him a little though, so he can keep up the kisses while his hips jerk at the ministrations. Chris is close, he thinks. His balls tightening up, and he's panting now instead of kissing him back.

Zach jerks him harder and with a gasp, Chris comes, his dick pulsing in Zach's fist, jizz spurting over his fingers. Chris keeps working over his dick though, kissing him eagerly again, sucking at his tongue and god, that's good. Zach's cock throbs jealously and maybe that's why Chris does it. It doesn't matter—he's coming in the next second, his turn to gasp; hips pumping as Chris squeezes tight.

He works him through it, draws out the orgasm until Zach wants to collapse against him. He doesn't though, makes himself shift so that the couch gets the full brunt of his weight; so that his face is pressed to Chris' cheek.

He listens to him breathe; just as unsteady as his own breaths, hoping awkwardness won't settle in. Zach kisses the corner of his mouth, tentative. Chris turns his head; smiling and just as tentative.

So it is a little awkward.

"Was that… okay?" Zach asks, and it's a weird question. One he normally wouldn't ask.

"Yeah," Chris says, still trying to get his breath back. "Thanks."

Zach tries not to frown, wants to be encouraging, although he's not sure he wants to be thanked for getting Chris off. He's sitting up, so Zach sits up too. Chris has spunk spattered across his belly.

"I'll just go clean up…" He's pushing up before Zach can stop him, off toward the bathroom. Zach watches him go, unease twisting his chest. Because wasn't that what Chris wanted? Someone to take care of him?

And Zach is used to helping with clean-up. Cuddling too. He's a pretty aggressive cuddler, actually. He likes the weight of his partner against him after sex, heart rates settling to the same pace, limbs tangled.

Not that he really gave this much thought, but he sort of assumed Chris would like that too.

But when Chris comes back, he doesn't look upset. His smile is still a little uncertain, but he doesn't look upset. Not like he looked that night, after someone roughed him up at that club.

He's zipped his sweater back up so Zach can't see the marks.

Tucked away now too, he asks, "Are you okay?" It feels just as weird to ask that, but he can't help it. Just in case. Just in case Chris regrets their little mutual handjobs session.

"Yeah," Chris tells him, and although he sounds nervous, Zach thinks he's sincere. His eyes are clear, unwavering. Relieved, Zach smiles.

"Do you want to finish the movie?"

Nodding, Chris settles back on the couch, and they sit like they always do; side by side and close enough to touch. Zach settles his hand on Chris' leg, and although Chris' first reaction is to tense up, he relaxes after a few seconds.

"Was it okay for you?" he asks quietly, eyes trained on the television. Zach glances over at him, and the urge to pull him close is almost overwhelming. But he settles for squeezing his leg lightly.

"It was great."

Chris smiles and with a little nod, he settles more comfortably against the cushions; against Zach's shoulder and Zach smiles too.

It's not exactly what he thought it might be like, but it's better than worrying about Chris going to some club where someone will choke him for fun and then leave him to limp home.

For both of them.


	4. Getting to Know You

He doesn't sleep much that night. He's pretty sure it wasn't what Chris had in mind, even more sure that Chris wanted someone to take care of him. Isn't that what he said: to belong to someone? To need someone? For someone to need him too?

And in Zach's mind, that means more than just shared orgasms. At least, it always has before. And he's never even been in a relationship that could remotely be termed kinky. But he's always been more than just a fuck partner to his significant others.

Of course they haven't all been into cuddling, but Chris likes to touch. He touches everyone. He usually touches Zach a lot more than he did today. And Zach doesn't understand why.

Maybe he doesn't touch the guys he's with? Maybe they don't touch him. Not the way Zach wants to touch him. Hell, he doesn't even know if people kiss each other in clubs like that.

He really has no fucking clue what he's doing.

But he wants Chris to feel… safe. So he'll let Zach take care of him. Although, maybe it doesn't work like that for Chris? Unless they're doing something kinky.

Frowning up at the ceiling, Zach thinks maybe he's way in over his head. Except, it doesn't matter if he is. No way is he letting Chris go back to some random asshole in a club to get beat up. He'll figure it out.

-o-

He spends most of the day doing just that. They don't have training or script reading. But they made plans to meet up in the evening, so Zach spends the day on his computer—researching.

Spends some time shopping too, although he has to suck it up and go to an actual brick and mortar store. He covers up as well as he can and hopes to hell no one recognises him. It's the owner who waits on him, and if he does know who he is, he's more interested in keeping his business than outing him.

It's late afternoon by the time he's finished and so he uses the rest of the time to debate whether or not he's lost his mind. He settles on probably, but waits impatiently for Chris to come over anyway.

He's right on time, and outwardly nervous. From his initial, "Hi," with its rise at the end to his hands pulling relentlessly at his sleeves. It shouldn't be this nerve-wrecking to be with him.

Zach's never had this effect on any of his other boyfriends. And that thought alone is interesting, since he hasn't yet categorized Chris in that way. But, that's what he is. As far as Zach is concerned. And he's positive now he made the right choice at the store earlier.

And since he thinks it's probably best to start as you hope to go on, Zach smiles, looking over Chris appreciatively. "You look good," he says and it makes Chris relax across the shoulders and his mouth perks up, pleased. Zach kisses him, and is happy to find that Chris is just as eager as he was before.

And when Zach backs him into the wall, it's easy; natural. It's just kissing, but Chris gives it all he has, even humming softly when Zach tips his face back, fingers gripping lightly around the base of his skull. His hands are gripping Zach's shirt again, and that, he thinks, is everything he needs to know.

Again, he doesn't disengage when Zach finally pulls back. He's breathing hard, eyes opening slowly. Zach smiles and lets him look his fill. "I have something for you," he eventually says.

"You do?" Chris straightens, hands falling back to his sides. He looks even better now, Zach thinks, his hair rumpled and his eyes bright. He licks his lips and it's difficult not to just go back to the kissing.

But he steps over to the entry table and picks up the box he set there hours ago—picked up and set down again at least a dozen times. Chris glances at the box and back up to Zach's face, but before he can protest it's not his birthday or something, Zach says, trying not to sound awkward and failing, "So, look… I don't really know how this works, but I thought… if you wanted…" He holds out the box, and Chris' eyebrows knit together.

"What is it?"

"Just open it."

Chris does, carefully, and then he stares down at the thin leather collar in its silk nest.

"You said you wanted to belong to someone?" Zach ventures, feeling stupid as Chris stares at him. "And, uh, I read that it can make a sub feel safe, so…"

Chris still doesn't say anything.

Zach tries to stop the nervous heat from rising up his neck. "I mean… I thought that's what you wanted…"

Chris swallows. "I didn't think you really meant it."

"Uh…" But Zach isn't sure what to say to that. What are they doing if Chris didn't think he meant it?

"I mean," Chris says quickly, sounding anxious, and that was not the point, "I knew you meant it about… me and you, and no more clubs, but I wasn't sure you really wanted to be my dom…" He's grimacing, waiting for… Zach doesn't even know. And it's even weirder to hear Chris call him his dom. Which… is stupid since he just gifted him a collar.

God, he sucks at this.

"Well," he says quietly anyway, smiling because he hopes it will ease Chris' worry, "I did mean it."

Chris nods, sucking on his lower lips; which Zach never really noticed is a nervous tic; or maybe it's exclusive to sex stuff.

"Is it okay?" he finally asks nervously. "You don't have to—"

"No, I want to." Chris' fingers twitch against the sides of the box. "Will you… put it on?"

Having not expected that, Zach rallies quickly anyway. "If you want me to." He carefully picks up the collar from its box, unsure how to do this. But Chris solves that problem by dropping to his knees.

Zach's not sure if it's because usually a guy kneeling in front of him means a blowjob, but his dick twitches unexpectedly. Chris' cheeks are starting to pink up; he licks his lips and that doesn't help calm Zach's dick.

The collar is open, and it should be a simple matter to just put it around Chris' neck, but his heart is beating so fast, he's afraid he might pass out. He takes a slow breath, knowing the person putting the collar on is supposed to be in control of the situation. And he's an actor, so he fucking pretends.

The leather is soft and although Chris' head is bowed, Zach can see his eyes close as soon as it touches his skin. It looks nice; like it belongs there around his throat. Chris' breathing is uneven, and that catches the interest of Zach's dick too.

Makes him fumble with the clasp at the back. But once it's secure, he can't help but drag his fingers along the dark leather. Chris shivers beneath his hand, and Zach swallows; finds he would very much like to try some variation of yesterday's handjobs with the collar on. He nudges Chris' chin up, and is surprised to find his eyes dark with arousal. His voice is raspy when he asks, "Do you… like it?"

"Yes," Zach's isn't much better. "A lot."

He runs his fingers along the collar again, watching Chris' face this time, watching his lips part, tongue running along his teeth and Zach is rapidly getting hard. But Chris doesn't move, doesn't offer anything. But he didn't the first time either. He waited until Zach asked.

It's not something he's sure he can get used to. "Do you want to go into the bedroom?" he asks. Nodding, Chris stands. And that's another thing. The silence. He doesn't really like that either.

Chris' fingers linger over the collar as they walk down the hall, and that Zach does like. He likes the small smile Chris doesn't even seem to realise he's wearing. Once they're in the bedroom though, Chris has his hands back at his sides again. And when Zach doesn't say anything, he asks tentatively, "How do you want me?"

That's another question he didn't expect. Clearly, he needs to do more research. Buy a book or two. Which he will. For the moment, though…

"I don't know," he says honestly as he moves over to where Chris is standing. "We need to talk about things, though. Negotiate." That's the word that was used over and over on every website he read.

"OK." Chris sounds nervous, and Zach isn't sure why. He rubs his biceps lightly, but that just proves how tense he is.

"So, I did some research," Zach starts, watching Chris' reactions carefully. "And I guess the first question is, what are your…" He scrunches his nose, trying to remember the term. "… hard limits?"

He expects Chris to rattle them right off; figures he had to have them on the tip of his tongue, but instead Chris shakes his head, eyebrows drawing together. "Um, I don't really… Whatever you want to do is good."

"But there has to be things… certain kinks that you don't like." He feels like they're having an interview or something. It should be more natural, but he's not sure how to accomplish that.

"Not really," Chris tells him. Zach frowns, because he's pretty sure that can't be true. Well, it might be true. But he read about some pretty strange kinks, some that he definitely doesn't want to do.

"Nothing?" he asks. "Uh… because, there were some things that were…" He's not sure how to put it; doesn't want to offend.

"We could try them," Chris says, and he sounds sincere; eager even. "If something sounds good to you, we can try it. I'd like to."

If that's how a negotiation usually went with those other asshole doms in that club, Zach has a pretty good idea how Chris ended up with his faceful of bruises.

It sets his teeth on edge all over again. But he hides it, smiles because Chris is watching him intently. "Can I undress you?" Zach asks, and it doesn't even make Chris pause. He just nods, and straightens a little; like he's used to being on display.

And that's not really what Zach wants.

But he does want to see. Needs to know that Chris is really okay. So he steps in close and unzips the heavy cardigan, pushes it carefully off his shoulders. Chris helps by rolling his arms, letting it fall away but otherwise doesn't move.

Zach smiles at him, pauses to kiss at his jaw; just beneath his ear. And then he catches the hem of Chris' shirt and pulls it over his head. He's adorably rumpled when he emerges.

But Zach's smile fades.

The bruises on his neck are fading to yellow, and it hurts to see them there. Zach leans in, his lips soft as they touch down on his warm skin. On the marks that someone else left so carelessly.

 _Never again_.

There are a few others scattered across his chest, low down on his hips. Zach kisses those two. The last touch he feels there will be gentle ones. Chris is trembling, his fingers curling in and out.

Zach moves back up to his face. He looks confused, but he obviously likes the tender kisses. He's hard under his pants, erection straining. Zach smiles at that too, kisses him while he unbuttons and unzips. He tugs the pants down, underwear too, and Chris obligingly steps out of them.

He's naked except for the collar, dick flat against his stomach now, already leaking.

Zach is doing something right.

"Bed?" he suggests and Chris moves toward it, although he pauses when he gets there so Zach lies down and tugs him in after.

Props up on an elbow so he can glide his fingers over the flat planes, down Chris' side until he jerks. "Ticklish?" he asks with a smirk, and Chris smiles too, quick before he settles back into seriousness once more.

Fun, Zach thinks. Sex is supposed to be fun.

"Tell me what you like," he says softly, pressing lips close to Chris' nipple.

"I… I don't know."

"Then tell me what you think about. Have you thought about this yet? When you're flying solo in the morning?"

The rise of dark color in Chris' cheeks is the answer.

"Tell me," Zach says again, voice pitched low and Chris inhales.

"About you holding me down," he whispers.

"Like this?" Zach rolls on top of him; takes his wrists carefully, not squeezing; just a light hold but Chris nods, his breathing picking up.

"What else?"

"I don't know."

"If you don't tell me," Zach says against his lips. "I won't know what to do to you."

Chris' dick is pressing up against his stomach, and Zach thinks he can feel his heart beating between them. "Whatever you want," he says.

"I want to know what you like," Zach tells him, kisses down his cheek until their mouths meet. Chris arches up into it, and when Zach pulls away, he's panting hard. "What else?"

"Sometimes," Chris says through his shudder, his wrists flexing a little against Zach's hold, but it seems involuntary. "… you don't let me come."

"Not ever?" Zach asks, surprised. Chris just blinks up at him. His cheeks are spotted red again, and Zach is momentarily distracted by it. He presses a kiss to his cheek, enjoying the warmth. "Is that what you want now?" he asks. "You don't want to come?"

Chris shakes his head, and still, Zach isn't sure what he means. Communication, he thinks. Everything he read said that was important. And it always is, anyway, no matter how kinky the sex is or isn't. So Zach kisses him lightly and sits up, releasing his wrists.

Chris tries to hide his disappointment. Zach smiles, and takes his cock in hand, rubbing lightly but it still makes Chris buck up into his palm. "Whatever we do," he says. "You need a safeword, right?"

Chris nods quickly.

"Did you have one in mind?" Zach asks. "How about just something simple?" he says when Chris shakes his head. "Red, if you want to stop. And yellow for slowing down?" He sounds exactly like he just read a whole slew of BDSM websites that very morning. But Chris doesn't seem to mind.

"OK," he agrees, half breathless as Zach keeps working him over.

"Good." Zach leans over to grab lube from his bedside table, lets Chris' cock flop back against his belly while he warms his hands. He slides a slicked palm back over his dick, and Chris swallows hard, the tendons straining in his neck. His fingers are fidgeting in the sheets, and Zach can think of better things for them to be doing. He lets his dick go again, smiling a little as Chris catches at his lip; probably to keep from groaning.

They'll have to work on that.

And, in fact… "I like to hear you," he says, and can see the understanding dawn over Chris' face. Zach pulls his shirt over his head, is once again gratified as Chris looks him over. He has to move to pull his pants off—underwear too so that they're both naked.

Naked, except the collar; which does look really nice against Chris' throat. Zach slides on top of him so their dicks align and Chris gasps, hips arching off the bed instinctively; trying to find more friction.

But he said he liked to be held down, so Zach takes his wrists again, pulls his arms above his head and catches his mouth, grinding down. And even though his moan is muffled between their tongues, Zach feels a flare of satisfaction that Chris did as he asked. It makes him want to ask for something else. He can't think of anything though. Not when Chris' cock is hard against his own, his skin starting to slick with sweat. It's good, so good as he thrusts down again, Chris' fingers curling over his as he tries to thrust up.

Zach likes that he can't, likes the feeling of holding him down with the weight of his body, likes the way Chris is panting straight into his mouth. The feel of his muscles straining against Zach's palms.

"You feel so good," he murmurs, pulling back from Chris' gasping mouth; just a little so that he can watch his face. He moves his hips faster, pushes down harder and it makes Chris' eyes rolls back. It only takes a few more thrusts and he's coming, trying to arch up, but Zach press his hips down and Chris moans, his whole body shaking with it, his face obscene.

And that's enough to tip Zach over as well, his grip tightening on Chris' wrists as he comes. And when he finds Chris' mouth again, tongue insistent, Chris whimpers and that's… fuck, Zach didn't expect to like that sound so much. He squeezes Chris' wrists and that makes him shudder.

Zach hums, kissing him slower until their mouths are just resting together. Chris' chest is rising and falling rapidly, but he seems content for now, isn't trying to pull away. Zach mouths along his jaw, pressing gentle kisses up to his ear and back again.

For another slow kiss, and then Zach lets his wrists go, rubbing gently with his thumbs because he read that you have to do that—to make sure the blood is flowing. Even though he doesn't think he really held him hard enough for that to be a worry.

He smiles when he catches Chris' eye. He's blinking slowly, refocusing and he smiles too, that same shy smile. Zach brings his hands close so he can kiss the wrists; the palms too for good measure. Chris is watching, not with surprise exactly. But it's pretty clear that no one has ever bothered with the after.

Zach tangles their fingers together and ducks his head to kiss the collar. And as he thought it might, it makes Chris inhale quickly. Smiling, Zach kisses him once more before pulling back, off to the side. Chris starts to get up too, but Zach says quietly, "Wait here." And it's that simple. Chris does, although he looks confused.

Zach goes into the bathroom, and cleans himself up quickly and then goes back to Chris with a damp cloth, which he uses to clean his stomach, pats his cock too. Chris holds his breath the entire time. Lets it out when Zach is done; with a quiet, "Thanks."

Smiling, Zach takes the towel back to the bathroom. When he comes back, Chris is already getting dressed. Zach holds back a frown, realizing he probably should have asked him to wait for cuddling too.

Nothing to do about it now, so he sets about getting his clothes on as well. He feels jittery though, adrenaline still humming through his veins. He really just wants to get back in bed and cuddle the hell out of Chris, but instead he asks, "Can I take you to dinner?"

That makes Chris' lips twitch. "Like a date?"

"If that's what the kids are calling it these days."

"Sure," Chris says, smiling fully now. "You can take me to dinner."

Zach steps in to kiss him, pulls up the zipper on his cardigan for him; pausing to stroke the collar with his thumb. "The key's in the box. We can leave it here, if you want. Or you can take it with you."

"Oh. Um… Can I keep it?"

"Sure."

Once they're by the door, Chris gets on his knees again; before Zach says anything. And he finds he likes that. Like a ritual between them; just for them. He's a little surprised at the way his stomach dips when he fits the key into the lock and the leather unclasps from around Chris' neck.

He didn't expect to like it so much. He takes it off carefully, settles it back in its little nest. There are two keys—one, the store owner had said, in case of an emergency; if the sub needs it. So Zach keeps one and leaves the other in the box. With that done, he takes Chris' hand and pulls him close; kisses him for a long time and that helps with the adrenaline.

Next time, he thinks, he's going to insist on cuddles. He'll ask anyway, and hopes Chris won't object.


	5. A Fragile Thing

Neither of them eat much, but that's out of necessity. More training in the morning, and final fittings for costumes in the afternoon.

"You looking forward to getting back into that wetsuit?" Zach asks while they wait for the bill.

"I look ridiculous in that thing."

"Not from where I was standing."

Smiling, Chris ducks his head. The waiter brings the check before Zach can expound on the wetsuit's qualities. He reaches for it, but Chris gets there first.

"I asked you out," Zach points out. Chris shrugs.

"So, you'll get it next time."

Zach lets him have it, and it's nice. He hasn't negotiated over a check with anyone in a long time. "Thanks," he adds and gets another smile for that. He's always enjoyed Chris' smiles; especially when they were aimed at him. They're even better now, and Zach wants more. "Stay at my house tonight?"

Chris gives his credit card to the server before answering. "I'll have to stop home to get some clothes."

"Next time, you should just bring a bag."

"OK." And he's got a little smile, not the nervous one though. The one that means he's pleased. Zach wonders how long he's been categorizing his smiles, but finds he has no idea.

-o-

Once they're back at Zach's house, he goes to take care of Harold and Noah for the night, leaving Chris on a search for drinks.

He's back a few minutes later, to find Chris on the couch, not looking for drinks but twisting the collar through his fingers. Smiling, Zach watches him until, finally, Chris notices him. His face wrinkles, like he's been caught out.

"I wasn't sure what you would like," Zach says quietly, still smiling. "They had so many different kinds, but—" He shrugs, feeling a little sheepish, "—I liked the leather."

"I love it," Chris tells him, and it's the most honest thing he's said yet, Zach thinks.

"I didn't expect to like it so much," he admits.

"But you did?" Chris asks, tilting his face up as Zach comes over to the couch.

"I didn't want you to take it off." He takes the collar from Chris' hand, curls it around his palm, and then is pleased when Chris' gaze zeroes in; his pupils are dilated. He doesn't ask for it, though. Just waits.

The effect on Zach's crotch… He thinks he might like to make him wait for other things. To see just how long Chris would be willing to hold out.

He breathes in and then asks quietly, "Did you like it when I held you down?"

"Yes." That's a little breathless, and it makes Zach smile.

"What about restraints? Do you like being tied up?" Another quick nod. Zach reaches out to run two fingers over his jaw. "Would you like to try that?" he asks. Swallowing, Chris nods.

Zach slides his fingers around to the back of Chris' neck and gives just a little tug. It's enough. He stands, following the pressure of Zach's hand until they're tight together. Zach kisses him, for a long time; until he can feel the press of Chris' erection against his leg.

When he takes his hand, Chris follows.

"You liked being naked?" Zach asks once they're in the bedroom. "I mean," he rushes to say when Chris blinks in surprise, "when I wasn't." Because Zach liked it a lot. He would like it very much if Chris was naked now, in fact. Waiting on his knees for his collar. Chris nods, and Zach says quietly. "I liked it too. Why don't you take your clothes off before I put the collar on?"

Chris obeys immediately, hands efficient; pulls off his shirt, followed quickly by his pants and underwear. Half-hard already, a flush rising up his throat as he kneels. He's holding his breath, waiting. It's exactly what Zach wants, so he fits the leather around his neck and then runs a hand upward through his hair.

"Lie on the bed," he says, and hopes it's the right tone. "On your back."

Whatever tone it is, Chris finds no qualm with it. He does as he's told, eyes bright; watching Zach as he moves over to the closet.

"Something simple to start with," he says, finding two ties that will work. He brings them over to the bed. He's never tied a guy up before, but he read about it. About ropes and bondage and how important it is not to make the knots too tight. "Any objections?" he asks, holding up the ties. Chris shakes his head. "We can get something better if you like this."

Carefully, Zach pulls Chris' wrists together, enjoying the way he twists his head to watch. He uses one to secure his wrists, slides his fingers underneath the fabric to make sure it isn't too tight. "OK?" he asks, surprised at the roughness in his voice. But he's aroused already, eyes following the lines of Chris' arms, the way they frame his head.

He uses the other tie to secure his wrists to the headboard, checking again to make sure his circulation won't be cut off. Chris seems to like this well enough. He's licking his lips, eyes still glued to Zach's face.

"Tell me if they get too tight," Zach says. Chris nods.

Smiling, Zach straddles his thighs, hands coming up to plant on either side of his head so he's got him caged in. It's a nice feeling, even better because Chris doesn't want to go anywhere.

Zach kisses him, pulling away before Chris is ready; judging by the way he tries to follow. Zach shakes his head and he subsides. "Don't move," Zach tells him quietly, trailing kisses downward, stopping when he reaches Chris' chest. He runs a thumb lightly over his nipple, circling to draw it tight and then dips his head down to lick; to taste.

Switches to the other one as Chris' breathing picks up. His dick is fully hard now, a sheen of sweat breaking out along his neck. But it's not enough. Zach draws the nipple into his mouth, sucks it into a hard point.

Making Chris gasp and buck up.

"You like this," Zach murmurs, letting his nipple go. It's wet with spit, rosy.

Breathless, Chris nods. Grinning, Zach reaches down to pinch the nipple between two fingers. And Chris' reaction is better, his sharply indrawn breath. Zach has done this before, been with guys who liked teeth. Just a little, just a graze here and there.

He does it again with the other nipple, sucking harder and enjoying the little breathless moan that escapes Chris' lips.

"What about my teeth?" Zach asks quietly, looking up to see his face.

To see his frantic nod, body straining up and so Zach closes his teeth around the nipple, pinching sharply.

" _Fuck—_ "

"Mm," Zach hums, smiling as he moves over to tease at the other one. He gets the same reaction, a gasp when he bites harder. "You do like that," Zach says quietly. He moves down, biting as he goes; pulling small sections of skin between his teeth. Just little nips really, but Chris is panting hard by the time he gets to his leaking dick. "What about here?" he asks, kissing the head, not intending to actually bite. "Do you like teeth here too?"

But Chris shakes his head, eyes wide, and Zach is momentarily surprised. Chris's face contorts. He swallows hard and says in a warble, "If you want. I don't mind."

"Nope," Zach says, dipping down to kiss at his dick again. "I don't want to do anything you don't like." He licks a stripe up his cock, and is satisfied when it twitches for him. "You liked _that_ ," he murmurs and then spends some minutes with Chris' dick in his mouth, taking turns with his balls as well until Chris is writhing, his arms straining against the fabric of his makeshift restraints.

Zach lets his dick go, sits up to take in the sight fully; the sheen of sweat, Chris' chest as it rises and falls unevenly. The dark slash of leather circling his throat. His attention is on Zach though, eyes bright with arousal and need.

"Tell me what you want," Zach says, rough all the way through this time. Chris' lips part but he doesn't answer. His gorgeous lips, swollen from his own inability to keep his teeth away.

"Tell me," Zach says quietly, sliding back over his body; to claim his lips and kiss him deeply. "Because right now I just want to fuck your mouth. So, you need to tell me if that's something you don't like—"

"Yes," Chris breathes, trying to kiss him and talk at the same time, pushing up into him as much as he can; as much as Zach will let him. " _Please_."

Zach takes his dick in hand, just two tugs; just a tease. Because Chris said he liked that. Jacks off to being told he can't come. So Zach lets him go and Chris whimpers, tries to push up again but Zach sucks his lower lip into his mouth and pulls away.

Gets undressed, unhurried because Chris is watching him; clearly wanting him back. His hands are flexing, toes twitching. Zach takes his time anyway, and when he's naked he climbs over him so that his dick butts against Chris' mouth.

Chris opens wide and when Zach pushes in, his moans vibrate around his dick. "Fuck," he breathes, gripping the headboard and forcing himself not to just choke Chris with his cock. Takes a deep breath and starts moving. Not too hard, even though he thinks Chris wouldn't mind. He's making gurgling sounds, eyes rolled back and he looks content to stay like this—for however long Zach wants him.

It doesn't take long enough, although on another day Zach might like to prolong it. Right now, though, he just wants to come down his throat and get his own mouth around Chris' cock again; wants to make him writhe, hold him down by the hips and make him wait until he's ready; until he gives permission.

He comes hard in Chris' mouth; thrusting in deep, groaning his name. And when he pulls out, Chris' eyes are watering. Zach catches the drips of jizz that he couldn't quite swallow, moaning into Chris' mouth as he kisses him.

He moves away a second later, leaving Chris breathless. He doesn't bother with more teasing. Just takes Chris' dick in his mouth, keeping him still with a firm hand on his hip as he works him with his tongue. But he's too quiet, even though he's panting hard. "Let me hear you," Zach says, pulling off for just a second, jacking him slowly with his hand. "Let me hear you or I'll stop."

He's not really sure he means to say that, and stopping is the last thing he wants to do. But he wants to know Chris likes this, needs to know he wants him.

He pushes his tongue in Chris' slit then and is rewarded with a moan. Another as he wiggles his tongue around, fingers squeezing at Chris' balls. "Spread your legs for me," he murmurs, and Chris obeys. Zach twists to grab the lube, coats his fingers and presses lightly behind his balls, just over his hole. Not pushing in, but it makes Chris jerk anyway.

"Want it?" he asks, fingernail skimming lightly now and Chris' legs tremble.

"Yes, fuck... _yes_."

He pushes in then, taking Chris fully in his mouth at the same time, working him over as he presses his finger in; just so. Chris' hips lift up off the bed as he comes.

Zach swallows neatly, pulls out and licks the last drops away and then moves back up to his face, to kiss him. Chris' lips are clumsy, uncoordinated and that's exactly as it should be. Chris is reluctant to let him go.

"Let me untie you," he whispers, kissing him once more and then works him free of the ties, bringing his arms down, rubbing his wrists gently. They're a little chafed. "Okay?" Zach asks as he kisses the pink marks, not sure how he feels about them.

They're his marks at least.

"Yeah," Chris sighs. "Thanks."

Zach massages his arms, down to his shoulders, reveling in Chris' languid smile. "I'd like to fuck you sometime," Zach says, coming back to Chris' mouth and finding the slow kisses exactly what he wants.

"OK," Chris agrees against his tongue.

"Would you like that?"

"Yes."

Zach closes his eyes, already imagining it. Holding Chris down and making him beg for his cock; making him work for it until neither of them can wait any longer.

His dick is already interested in the idea. But that's all for later, because what his head wants is entirely different. He rolls to the side, pulling Chris with him, kissing him still and Chris seems to have no objection to this either. Even slides his arms around Zach's neck when he's pulled close.

Zach kisses along his jaw, down to his collar. Just because he likes that Chris shivers every time he does it. "Do you want me to take it off?" he asks, fingers caressing the soft leather. "We can just do it right here, like this."

But Chris doesn't answer and so Zach pulls back. "Something wrong?" he asks, heart rate picking up although he doesn't think there is. He hopes there isn't.

Chris shakes his head.

Zach frowns though, knowing him well enough to spot the lie. "Tell me," he says quietly, but he can see the nervous reluctance in the blue eyes. "I need you to talk to me." He keeps his voice soft, soothing and doesn't take his hand from the collar; he can feel Chris' heartbeat against his palm. "If I did something wrong, you need to tell me."

Chris' eyes widen. "What? No, no, it's nothing like that. It was a great. I just..." He swallows. "... I don't want to take it off," he finally says, but a dark blush is heating his cheeks. "It's… I like the way it feels."

Zach lets his breath out, not having expected that. Relieved though, he smiles. "I do too."

Chris relaxes, smiling too and pressing close again when Zach kisses him, his fingers digging into the collar; just a little. It makes Chris' breath hitch. "Just one more question," Zach murmurs.

"Okay...?"

"What are you thoughts on cuddling? Yes or no?"

"Um… yes?" Chris answers, sounding confused.

"Okay good." Actually, Zach would like to crow with delight, but he settles for a grin that is probably too gleeful for the circumstances and kisses Chris again. "Because that's a hard limit for me," he says seriously. Chris smiles at that and lets Zach tug and arrange until they're tangled up to his liking, Chris' head on his shoulder and their legs twined. "This okay?"

"Yeah," Chris sighs. "It's good."

Zach tightens his hold, and drops a kiss to the top of Chris' head. It is good.


	6. what you see

Waking up with Chris in his bed—and sprawled over his chest—is exactly as nice as Zach thought it would be. He smiles before he even has his eyes open, his hand settling over Chris'. Chris makes a sleepy, questioning sort of sound. In answer, Zach moves closer, using his other arm to tuck him in tighter.

Chris sighs into his shoulder, his breath ticklish. Zach tangles their fingers together and drops a kiss into his hair, mumbling, "Morning…"

"Mm," is the only response he gets. Chris is not a morning person; never has been. Eventually though, he grumbles, "What time is it?"

Zach has to twist to glance over at his clock. "Almost seven."

"Too early."

"We have to be at the studio at nine."

Chris presses his face briefly into Zach's shoulder, and if there were a way to suspend time, he thinks, this would be a good moment.

No such luck. Chris rolls away, smashing Zach's arm for a second before he sits up and rubs at his eyes. Zach sits with him, wishing he'd taken advantage of that moment, and stolen a kiss.

He needs to brush his teeth first anyway. But he does lean over to kiss Chris' shoulder. Chris turns his head, smiling a little when their eyes meet. "Morning," he says, like he's just remembered morning after etiquette.

Zach dutifully responds in kind, and moves in to kiss his neck. The collar too, and it's like Chris has forgotten about it. He breathes in sharply, but he leans into Zach's lips, tilting his head back. It makes Zach's dick—already interested in the proceedings—perk up. "Want to share a shower?" he asks and gets a breathy affirmative in reply.

Noah chooses that moment to wander in, tail wagging hopefully. Zach turns his attention back to Chris for just a second, nipping playfully at his throat. "I have to let Noah out, but I'll be right back if you want to get started."

"Okay," Chris says immediately, just raspy enough to make Zach want to be extremely quick. He kisses Chris' cheek before getting out of bed, slipping into sweatpants while Chris watches. Zach gives him a smile before calling to Noah.

He's back a few minutes later. The shower's on, but Chris isn't in it. He's in the bathroom, pants back on, his bag on the counter. He's just sliding his toothbrush away. Zach smiles to himself, liking the way he fits. He steps into the bathroom and slides his arms around Chris' waist; murmuring against his ear, "I figured you would be all wet by now."

"I wasn't sure I should get in with the collar on…"

"I can put it back after we're done with the fittings if you want," Zach offers, kissing the back of his neck. "Would you like that?"

With Chris' nod, Zach undoes the button on his pants, enjoying the way he stills. The way he allows it, watching him in the mirror as Zach pulls the zipper down and then moves to his waist to push the pants over his hips.

His cock springs free, half hard and filling out quickly. Leaving the pants to pool around his ankles, Zach strokes him slowly, keeping their gazes locked in the mirror. His own dick is pressing against Chris' ass. With an appreciative groan, he rubs against him and then ducks his head to scrape his teeth along Chris' neck.

Chris pushes up into his hand, and Zach smiles, nips him just a little harder. He sucks in a breath but it only encourages him to look for more friction. "Mm," Zach hums into his neck. "Shower, I think… before we run out of hot water."

Biting at his lip, Chris nods. Trying not to smile, Zach pulls back and pats his ass. "Collar first."

Chris turns obediently, stepping out of his pants before he drops to his knees, head bowed. Zach fits the key into the lock, that same feeling of wistfulness settling over him as he pulls the collar away. He sets it carefully on the counter before nudging Chris' chin up.

Zach wants to kiss him—possibly fuck him over the sink, but he wants even more to make Chris wait for it.

"I'll be right in," he says, squeezing his chin gently. "Just need to brush my teeth."

Chris stands, glancing back at him as he goes. Zach takes a second to palm his own dick once Chris is in the shower and then gets out of his sweatpants and quickly brushes his teeth.

He joins Chris a moment later, to find him lathering up with Zach's body wash. Zach steps in behind him, inhaling as soon as he's close. He's always liked that, his own scent on his partner's skin. And with Chris… it's sharper; better.

He rubs a hand through the suds on his belly, up and over his chest. Chris leans against him, head tipping back on Zach's shoulder. Zach kisses his cheek as he pinches his nipple, hard so that Chris gasps. The other one as well before he turns him and pushes him back into the corner. Kisses him hard too, sucking at his tongue as he catches their dicks together.

He apparently isn't much good at making him wait. But at the moment, his mouth full of Chris' tongue, cocks tight together, it's impossible to care.

-o-

When he finishes with his fittings that afternoon, Zach goes in search of Chris. He finds him just finishing up, nodding solemnly to whatever the costumer is saying to him as she takes the gold uniform. "Sure. Thanks," he says before glancing up. His face changes as soon as their eyes meet, lighting up; a smile lifting his lips.

His chest expanding with unexpected warmth at that reaction, Zach smiles too, eyebrows rising in a silent greeting. Chris grins, quick, before turning his attention back to the costumer. Marla is her name, Zach thinks. Chris thanks her again, and as soon as she moves away, he crosses the room.

"Hey," he says as soon as he's close and Zach wants to pull him in for a kiss. There are too many people around, so he settles for a sideways elbow to his bicep because he can't not touch. It's only been two hours since they parted ways after their training session, but it feels like an eternity.

"Hi," he echoes quietly.

Chris' lip quirks, amusement in his eyes as he nudges him back and it makes Zach wonder if he's thought about if and when they'll tell people. Zoe already pestered him about his apparently cheerful mood; and didn't believe him when he said it had nothing to do with a guy.

They can figure that out later. For now, he asks, "How did it go?"

"I'm apparently still too thin," Chris sighs, mouth twisting. "But it's a too late to do anything about it, so…" He shrugs.

"They're crazy," Zach tells him. "I've seen you naked," he adds with a smirk, "so I know what I'm talking about."

Chris is trying not to smile.

"So, I have this idea," Zach says before he can ask any reciprocal questions. He doesn't want to talk about work anymore. One of the costumers walks by then, and Zach has to pause; looks around quickly. There's an office to the left—used for storage, as far as he can tell. "Wait, come here." He hooks Chris' arm and tugs him in, closing the door behind. And since they're alone, he walks him back into the wall and kisses him.

Chris' surprise doesn't last long. He latches onto Zach's shirt, kissing him back with alacrity. Apparently, he thinks it's been too long too. "Good idea," he says when Zach pulls back.

Zach laughs. "That wasn't it." He kisses him again. "Just couldn't resist."

Chris' answering smile is almost enough to make him forget his plans and just take Chris back to his house. He focuses. "I found this store… the one where I bought the collar."

Chris fingers brush against his bare throat, just for a second before falling away. Zach misses it too.

"I thought we could go together," he goes on, moving his eyes back to Chris' face. "And you could pick out some things."

He's not sure whether or not Chris likes the idea. He hesitates, his fingers flexing in Zach's shirt. "You're not worried about something seeing us?"

Zach lifts a shoulder, not particular concerned. "I think the owner would be discreet, and it's a little bit of a hike so we'd be safe from paparazzi. We don't have to, I just thought—"

"No, we can. I've never…" Chris waves indistinctly. "I mean I've looked at stuff online…"

"Hey," Zach interrupts softly. "It's totally up to you."

Chris looks at him, hand unclenching after a second to rub at Zach's waist. "Yeah," he finally says. "Let's do it."

The warmth that blossoms in Zach's chest is unexpected. Smiling, he tugs Chris in for another long kiss.

-o-

The store owner pays them no more attention than he did when Zach was solo. Chris is twitchier than Zach is though, darting glances at the owner—and the other couple, but they don't seem to care who they are either; more interested in the selection of whips along the back wall. Of which, Chris, Zach notes, steers clear. But he's not sure if it's because of the other couple or if he just doesn't like whips.

They're currently standing in front of a display of blindfolds and gags. Such a huge variety of gags that Zach is left wondering how the hell anyone could use all of them. Shouldn't one be enough?

But it's not the gags that Chris seems to be interested in. "You like the blindfolds?" Zach asks, close to his ear. Chris glances over at him, and then away again, color warming his cheeks. Zach rubs his lower back through his shirt and is pleased when Chris doesn't pull away. "Do you like being blindfolded?"

Chris licks his lips and then answers quietly, "I've never tried it."

"But you want to?"

A pause and a hesitant, "I… I've wondered about it."

"Then we should get one," Zach says, rubbing his thumb back and forth and after a second Chris nods. "Which one looks good to you?"

But Chris shakes his head.

"Leather?" Zach asks. "Silk?"

"Um, leather's good."

Zach brings his hand up to settle around his neck, where the collar would be. "It is," he agrees. He can feel Chris relax at his touch but he still doesn't choose one. Zach's hand hovers over a black one with soft fleece on the underside. "How about this?"

After a second's consideration, Chris nods and so that makes the decision.

"What about you?" he asks as Zach takes the box from the shelf. "Is there anything you want to try?"

With the question turned on him, Zach has no idea how to answer. "Um… I don't know." He's been mostly concerned with what Chris wants. "A set of restraints might be nice. The ties were fine, but…"

Chris turns to look at him, his lips hinting at a smirk. "But that's still what I like."

"I like it too," Zach retorts, amused. "And I'd like something you can't so easily escape from."

Chris' eyes widen, the humor whisked away and Zach's heartbeat picks up. "Sorry, too much?" he asks.

"No," Chris says, and it's strange to hear the breathless catch in his voice like this. Impossible not to let it affect him. They stare at each other, the moment extending out until Zach forces himself to blink. He smiles.

"Should we find the restraints?"

Letting his breath out, Chris nods. And when Zach hooks a thumb through one of his belt loops, he smiles.

-o-

Zach has him spread out on the bed, his wrists secured with the new restraints. He's naked except for the collar. His muscles are tense, his legs especially. Zach moves between them, settling hands on his thighs and rubbing lightly. Chris follows the movements, shoulders straining a little.

"You okay?" Zach asks. "Are the restraints uncomfortable?" When Chris shakes his head, Zach reminds him, "I like to hear you. Especially now."

"It's fine," he whispers.

"Relax for me, okay? You're all tensed up."

"Sorry," he breathes.

Zach runs his palms up his stomach, stretching over him so he can suck Chris' lower lip between his own. Chris stretches to meet him. "You're gorgeous like this," Zach says quietly when he lets him go. "Do you know how good you look?"

Clearly, he doesn't. He's blushes, that pleased, shy smile creeping onto his lips. Smiling too, Zach moves down his neck, butting his chin up gently and after a brief hesitation, he tugs lightly on the collar with his teeth.

Chris inhales sharply, arching up again. Zach closes his eyes, his dick twitching. As much as Chris likes his collar, Zach thinks he might like it even more. He kisses his throat and sits up again.

Chris' eyes are wide, his breathing not quite even anymore. Some of the tension has left his legs. Zach dips down to kiss him again, pulls away after just a second and can't help but smile as Chris tries to follow and can't. "You want the blindfold?" he asks, sitting up. And he doesn't even have to remind him to use his words.

"Yes."

Zach smiles down at him. "Good boy." Chris' pupils dilate at the praise, and that makes Zach aware of how tight his pants are. Ignoring it, he picks up the blindfold. Chris is holding his breath so Zach orders softly, "Breathe."

And he obeys.

The heady rush of power is unexpected, but not unwelcome. Not when he's got Chris tied to the bed, waiting for Zach to give him what he's asking for. "Lift your head a little for me," he says, voice rougher now, but Chris obeys that too; lets him secure the mask before he lets his head drop back to the mattress.

"Gorgeous," Zach breathes. Chris inhales slowly, fingers flexing against the leather that holds him to the headboard. Zach's throat feels tight as he looks him over. The trust that Chris is showing him. It's better than the feeling of power, of dominance. It's the trust he wants, he realises.

To give Chris what he wants. To make him feel good. To let him get out of his head for awhile, and to catch him when it's over.

Zach leans in to kiss his jaw. He skips over Chris' mouth, knows it will make him want more. His hands find Chris' nipples, pinching lightly at first and then harder, until Chris bucks. Bites a trail down his throat, onward to bite at his nipples instead while his fingers skim over Chris' stomach, drags them slowly through the course hair framing his dick. He tugs lightly and Chris arches up. Smiling, Zach does it again, before moving down to squeeze his balls.

There's lube and a condom on the bedside table; waiting.

Zach doesn't think he'll be able to hold out for long. He nudges Chris' thigh, just to trail a finger lightly over his hole. Chris clenches, arms pulling at the restraints. He's biting at his lip again, tension coiling through his muscles.

As soon as Zach gets out of his pants, he'll draw it out of him again. Lay his body over Chris' and kiss him until he's relaxed. Tease him with fingers until he's begging to be fucked.

Zach's dick throbs at the thought.

He slides off the bed, fingers clumsy as they pull at button and zipper. Fumbles with his underwear too, leaving it in a messy pile on the floor to skirt the bed for the lube and condom.

Pauses to appreciate Chris' body, the light sheen of sweat, the rise and fall of his chest, the way his head is turned toward Zach, even with the blindfold on—tracking his movements, Zach guesses.

Setting the condom on the bed, he scrapes his fingernails lightly over Chris' leaking cock, making his breath catch. Drags them over his stomach too; up his chest to circle the left nipple.

A noise escapes Chris' lips, needy like a whine. And it goes right to Zach's dick. He leans down to kiss him chest, draws the nipple between his teeth. Chris' whole body tightens, his arms pulling at the restraints. Setting the lube aside, Zach straddles him, moving slowly so he can kiss his way up. "Relax for me," he murmurs. But the quiet words don't work this time.

Another noise, this one not a whine though; it's too raw. Zach's head comes up. Chris' breathing is uneven. His hands are clenching hard above the restraints, his lips in a hard line.

Zach's stomach twists. "Chris?" he asks quietly, but he gets no answer. "Are you okay?" More harsh breaths are the only reply.

With his heart beating too fast, Zach crawls over him, hands fumbling as soon as they reach the back of the blindfold. He pulls it away, and Chris blinks at him, slowly focusing on his face. His eyes fill with tears and he's warbling, " _Zach…_ "

His breaths are coming faster, like he's panicking and Zach has no idea why. "It's okay," he breathes. "You're okay, it's okay." He scrabbles at the restraints, knowing somehow that he should be calm, that his own rising panic probably isn't helping.

Chris is free a second later, the shallow breaths sliding into whimpers. He's shaking his head. "You don't have to," he rasps, but the protest is lost as Zach pulls him close and he's relieved to the point of crying himself that Chris hugs him back.

It takes a minute to realise Chris is mumbling, "Sorry, I'm sorry," over and over. But Zach has no idea what he's apologizing for; no idea what happened.

So he just hugs him tighter and shushes him; not even making real words. Chris is shivering, just like the adrenaline crashes Zach read about, even if they barely started. They're at the edge of the bed, so he has to wrestle with the blanket on the empty side, to pull it around them; at least around Chris.

It seems to help anyway. He isn't saying anything anymore, his breaths slowing by degrees, blowing cold and hot against Zach's neck.

Zach rubs circles over his backs, lips brushing back and forth over his temple; wanting to touch the collar, but refraining. Not sure if he'd be welcomed. "Your'e okay," he promises. "It's okay."

He doesn't know if Chris believes him, doesn't even know if Chris is okay. But he's not pulling away and that's something. He's not sure how long they lie there but Zach keeps up the soothing motions and eventually, Chris stops shivering. He moves his head so that the crown is resting against Zach's clavicle. And maybe he's ready to get up.

"Do you want to…" Zach starts, but he's not sure what he's trying to ask. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." A shaky breath. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Do you… want to talk about it?"

But Chris shakes his head, just a jerky movement. Zach doesn't want to press, even though he knows they'll have to at some point.

"Do you want to sleep? Or… we could watch TV. Anything you want."

Chris doesn't answer. Not right away. He inhales slowly, his fingers twitching against Zach's skin. His voice is scratchy when he says, "I don't know what that was."

"It's okay." Carefully, Zach asks, hoping to God the answer is no, "Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?"

Chris shakes his head.

Hoping it's true, Zach nuzzles his hair. "Will you let me check your wrists? Make sure you're okay?"

"I am. I'm fine." But Zach's hand is already lifting his arm up so he can inspect the wrist in the dim light. Looks good; the restraints have a lining just like the blindfold. He tugs the other one down and kisses both tenderly. Chris pulls back a little, enough to look at him. His lashes are damp.

Zach tries to smile, but his chest aches. He brushes a thumb beneath his eye. "The blindfold wasn't too tight?"

Chris shakes his head.

"Can I kiss you?" Zach hesitates, but if he wants Chris to talk to him, he should be willing to do the same. "I need to."

Chris nods, his eyes bright. Zach cradles his face gently and kisses him. Softly, their lips barely moving. But Chris' fingers curl into his shoulder, pulling him closer and it's all Zach can do not to crush him closer and devour his mouth. He breaks off after a minute; to search his face.

He's not sure what Chris sees. But whatever it is, his mouth twists. Before Zach can ask what's wrong, he says, still scratchy, "It was the blindfold."

Hiding his surprise, Zach nods. Even though a million questions are begging to be asked. "We won't use it again," he says quietly, with the calm he should have had earlier. "I should have realised you didn't like it."

 _And you_ , he thinks, _should have used your safe word_. But he doesn't say it; doesn't know how to bring it up. Another thing an experienced dom would know how to do. "I'm sorry."

"No," Chris says quickly. "It's not your fault. It's stupid, but..."

"It's not stupid." Zach has no idea what he's going to say, but whatever it is, it's not stupid.

It takes another minute before Chris goes on, "It was always dark in the clubs." His eyes slide away, his throat working for a second and Zach has to force himself not to interrupt again. "I usually couldn't see the… the guy I was with. I mean, not his face. I didn't mean to panic."

_Of course you panicked._

That's what Zach wants to say. "It's okay," is what he actually says, ignoring the guilt in his chest, the anger at nameless faces too. Chris turns to look at him again. Zach kisses him, to reassure. "We won't do that again."

But Chris doesn't look reassured. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. We tried it and it didn't work," Zach says with a shrug, a smile, which he hopes is buoying. "No problem. We'll try something else. Or stick with what we already like. Okay?"

He thinks he's said something wrong; with the way Chris is staring at him.

"You still want to do this?" he asks.

Zach blinks, his stomach swooping unpleasantly. "Um, yes? Unless you don't want to. Because—"

"I do," Chris breaks in. "I just thought maybe…"

"I'm not one of those guys in the clubs," Zach tells him, thumb moving gently over his face to emphasize his point. He's sure now that not one of those assholes ever gave him even that much. "I get why you went there, but I don't want us to be like that. I'm not going to fuck off because you don't like being blindfolded. Or anything else either."

And possibly, they've been going about this the wrong way.

"It's not just about the kinky sex, and you subbing for me. I want that too," he says quickly, so there won't be any misunderstanding. "But not just that. I mean, obviously," he adds when Chris doesn't say anything, "if that's what you want too. Do you?" He sounds too anxious but it's too late to take it back.

Chris' face softens, just a tiny hint of a smile lifting his lips. But Zach is still surprised when he kisses him. It takes a second to respond. But Chris doesn't stop, arms finding their way around his neck.

Zach pulls him close, until their bodies are flush and kisses him back. Soft at first, like before. But he can feel Chris getting hard. His kisses are growing desperate. Zach rolls them, before he's really thought it through. But he's careful, not sure what the etiquette is after stopping in the middle of a scene.

He's not sure it matters. Not when Chris clearly wants this. His hands are roaming over his back, pulling him closer; the first time he's ever initiated. The first time he's ever responded like this. Their hips move instinctively, cocks sliding together. Zach could come this way, very happily. But Chris pulls his mouth away, breathless as he asks to be fucked. "Please?"

And how can Zach refuse? He takes Chris' mouth again, moving deliberately atop him to give him more friction. To make him gasp out another plea. And then he slides off, kneeling between Chris' knees, and once he rolls the condom on, he takes Chris' dick in hand. Rubs him slowly. "Lube," he says, and Chris feels around for it, flips the cap up when Zach holds out his hand.

Keeping their eyes locked, he warms it in his fingers before prodding just behind Chris' balls, nudging his legs apart with his elbow. "Bend your knees," he says quietly. And since Chris' hands are restless in the sheets, he adds, "Hands on your legs, and keep them there for me."

Once Chris obeys, Zach rewards him with a kiss for his knee. And a slow finger pushing in. Chris lets his breath out, relaxing before Zach has to remind him. He smiles, keeps up the slow strokes, all the way to the base of his dick and up to the head, twisting just so. "You feel so good," he murmurs as he pulls his finger out and pushes in again, enjoying the blush as it travels up Chris' body.

He works in another finger after awhile, when Chris starts moving; wanting more. But Zach takes his time, until Chris is humping his fingers, trying to follow when he pulls out, begging for his cock. With his words and his body.

Zach grips him behind his knees, stretching him, opening him wide. Chris keeps his hands on his thighs, eyes wide, breaths shallow. He groans when Zach pushes in, just the head of his cock at first, waiting. Until Chris begs, " _More_. Please, Zach—"

He's panting, rocking his hips up as Zach bottoms out. Wanting it, and that's all Zach needs to start moving. Rocking with him, making him curl into it. Needing to kiss him, Zach lets his legs go after a few strokes and moves over him; tugging at his arms so he can link their hands, press them to the mattress above his head. He dips down to kiss his throat, over his collar and then moves to his mouth.

That's better, exactly right. Chris' tongue curled with his; arching into each thrust, ass squeezing around his dick until Zach's balls tighten and he's coming with a groan. He pushes in deep, letting Chris milk the last of his orgasm and then he reaches between them, tugging sharply at Chris' dick; just a few tugs and his warm jizz coats their stomachs.

Chris is still trying to kiss him even though they're both panting too hard. Zach makes a valiant effort until he has to breathe. They suck in air together. After awhile, Zach pulls out, tossing the condom over the side of the bed and kisses Chris' reflexive wince away. Lazy, aimless kisses, Zach slipping to the side but keeping him close.

He lets Chris' hands go, slides down his arm and over his shoulder, finally coming to rest over his collar.

He doesn't want to move. Chris seems to have the same idea. He turns his face toward Zach's; for more kisses. Zach is happy to oblige.


	7. if and when

"So I have an idea…"

"More kinky shopping?" Chris asks with a smile.

"Well, I wouldn't say no," Zach retorts, tweaking his ear. Which is in convenient range, with Chris tucked between his side and the back of the couch while they avoid getting up to go to work. "They had some interesting things there."

Chris tilts his head back to look at him. "Really? Like what?"

But Zach shakes his head. "Later. I was thinking about what you said that first time. Well. Second, technically. About me not letting you come?"

"Yeah?"

Zach tries not to smile at the way his voice dips with interest. "I think I'd like to try that. What do you think?"

"Now?"

"Well, I was thinking, actually," Zach says, fingers scratching gently beneath the collar still snug around Chris' neck, "that you should blow me. And then we'll go to work, go out tonight with everyone because we already have plans and if you're good…" Chris' breathing has picked up, his pupils dilated. Zach strokes his jugular. "If you're good, maybe I'll let you come when we get home." He watches Chris' throat ripple. "Do you like that idea?"

"Yes," Chris croaks.

"Then, you better get to work on my dick. We have to leave soon."

Chris sits up immediately, hands already moving toward his pants, but that isn't how Zach wants him. "On your knees," he says because it's one of his favorite places for Chris to be now. Chris scrambles to obey.

He's sitting back on his heels, hands curled into his thighs by the time Zach sits up. He licks his lips, gaze zeroing in on Zach's crotch. Zach wastes no time taking his cock out; strokes it languidly. "You want it?" he asks, smiling a little when Chris nods eagerly. "Come here, then."

Chris shuffles forward, hands sliding up Zach's thighs, coming to rest near his groin. He doesn't swallow him down right away. Instead nuzzling his face in the coarse hair, hands pulling his zipper open wider so that he has more access. He kisses along the shaft, starting at the base. And when he gets to the head, his tongue darts out to taste.

Winding his fingers through Chris' hair, Zach watches for as long as he can. While Chris licks at him, tongue curling over the head like it's a popsicle. When he finally opens wide and sucks him to the root, Zach drops his head to the cushion with a groan, hips lifting up of their own accord.

Chris just takes him deeper, his head moving up and down in a rhythm that is slowly driving Zach insane. And when Chris wraps his hand around the shaft, sucking hard at the head, just the barest hint of teeth, he moans Chris' name and starts shooting. It seems to go on longer than it normally does, but maybe that's because Chris is doesn't stop sucking at him.

Like his dick really is a popsicle. "Fuck," he breathes, fingers clenching just a little in Chris' hair, going with him when he pulls off. "God, that was amazing…" He jerks when Chris starts licking him again.

He lifts his head, to point out that he already came but Chris is _licking him clean_ , stopping to suck a drop of come as it dribbles from his slit. And fuck, his dick twitches at that.

Chris smiles when he meets Zach's eye. "Get up here," Zach orders breathlessly, needing to kiss him immediately.

Chris scrambles into his lap; rocks against him. Zach has to stop himself mid-reach toward his zipper. He's supposed to be making him wait. So he grips the back of his neck instead and kisses him until Chris has to pull away to breathe. He tries to move back in again, his erection pressing against Zach's stomach by now but Zach grins and pulls his head back.

"Nope," he says. "You get to wait, remember?"

Chris bites at his lip, looking like he wants to argue. But he nods instead, takes in a slow breath.

"We need to go, anyway," Zach says. He nudges Chris off and rights his clothes before they stand. Chris' hair is a mess. Zach smiles and reaches out to comb through it, lets his hand drift down to his neck; to the collar. "Almost forgot…"

Chris frowns a little.

"You don't want me to take it off?" Zach asks with a smile, but he's only teasing. Even if he does like the idea of leaving it right where it is. They'll be at the studio most of the day, with their friends and cast mates. It's thin enough that no one would probably guess it's anything other than an unusual necklace.

So he's more than a little surprised when Chris asks, "Can I keep it on?"

He covers it well though he thinks; runs his fingers over the soft leather. "You know I like it right where it is, but if you take a shower after we're finished training, it might be difficult to take it off in the locker room, with everyone there." Chris sucks his lips in, obviously disappointed and it makes Zach want to smile. "I'll take it off now and put it back on as soon as we're done."

Chris' eyes brighten, but he drops his gaze briefly to the floor. The worry is gone by the time he looks up again. "Thanks."

It's not as weird as it probably should be to be thanked for something like that. Chris kneels then and once the collar is off, Zach puts it into his pocket. As soon as Chris is standing, Zach grasps a belt loop and pulls him in, kissing him softly. "You give really good head, you know that?"

Chris' eyes sparkle at the compliment. "I know."

"Mm." Zach palms his crotch, and his eyes widen and that's better. "All day. Think you can make it?"

Chris nods quickly.

"That's if I let you come at the end of it."

Chris swallows but he doesn't protest. Zach smiles and ducks his head to kiss along his jaw. He has no intention of not getting him off the moment they're alone but he says anyway, "If you're good."

"I'll be good."

Zach inhales slowly, his dick not seeming to care that it's been about five minutes since the last orgasm. He lifts his head. One more thing before they set off on the wild adventure of denial.

"Promise me you'll use your safeword if you need to, okay?" he asks "Not just for this," he adds. "But whenever you need to. I want you to feel safe."

"Okay," Chris agrees after a beat. Reassured, Zach pulls him close for a kiss. They have a few extra minutes. He uses them to his advantage, makes sure to give his dick a little friction, enough that Chris starts rubbing against him. And that's when Zach pulls away. Not even trying not to laugh at his disgruntled expression.

"Come on," Zach says, kissing his nose. Chris grimaces as he adjusts himself. But he takes Zach's hand willingly enough and lets Zach pull him out the door.

-o-

Zach makes sure to touch him a lot during training. He always does anyway, but he doesn't usually linger against his bicep after helping him up from the mat, or slide down his body when they land in a heap and they have to untangle. Chris has to turn away to adjust after the second time.

Zach just smirks at him when he turns back around. Chris is definitely not annoyed though, which is pretty interesting—and arousing on its own. It also has the happy side of effect of Chris blushing.

All morning.

He's still blushing by the time the trainer calls it a day and they head for the showers. Zach deliberately lets the others go ahead, just so he can pull up behind Chris and brush against his ass on their way. So he can lean in and remind him quietly, "Keep your hands off your dick in the shower."

Chris' neck is bright red as they go into the locker rooms. Smirking, Zach goes to take a shower. Chris is out before he is, dressed and waiting by the lockers. Everyone else is gone.

"Were you good?" Zach asks, glancing over his face, the drops of water clinging to his neck.

Biting at his lip, Chris nods. Zach crowds him against the lockers, well aware that someone could come in. Chris doesn't protest, hands finding purchase at the waist of his pants as he kisses him back. Zach grinds down, closing his eyes as he feels Chris getting hard. He's never really been turned on by the danger of getting caught, but the idea of taking Chris right here, knowing that Chris is his and anyone who walked in would see that…

He grinds down again, fingers tangling tight in his hair; to keep him right where he wants him; to make him want more. And when Chris thrusts up, trying to find more friction, Zach pulls his head away and orders softly, "Behave."

He's only teasing, really, but Chris stills. It looks like it takes a lot of effort. Zach rewards him with a kiss, rubs against him once more; slowly so that Chris groans and lets his head fall back against the lockers.

Smiling, Zach kisses along his jaw before he pulls away. While Chris tries to catch his breath, he pulls the collar from his pocket, holds it between his fingers. "Do you want this back?"

Chris nods, a little frantically, Zach thinks. Which his dick appreciates very much. Even more when Chris kneels. Zach locks the collar into place and then squeezes his neck lightly. "You look so good on your knees," he says, his voice rough with arousal, "I think you should stay down there and suck me off again."

Chris looks up, the blue of his eyes almost overtaken by his pupils.

"Anyone could walk in," Zach tells him, but Chris only nods. "Take my dick out."

Chris complies immediately, drawing him from his underwear, his hand stroking along the shaft just like he did this morning. But that's not really what Zach wants. "Open wide," he says, taking Chris' face between his hands. Chris drops his hand and obeys.

Zach pushes in, letting him adjust to the fullness; waits until he grips the back of Zach's thighs before starting to move. Thrusting in and out; fucking his mouth until Chris gags on it. But he just grips Zach's legs more firmly, opening even wider and tilting his face up so that Zach knows he still wants it.

And when Zach comes, he does his best to swallow it all down. He's not entirely successful. He coughs as Zach pulls out, but he lets Zach drag him up to kiss him breathless anyway. Chris is still hard when Zach finally lets him go.

-o-

Their final read-through is more fun than it should be. At least it is for Zach. He's got his chair pushed as close to Chris as he dares. And a hand on his leg throughout. Walking along his thigh, teasing close to his crotch.

He has to pull away when Chris jerks. Tries not to smile at the way his fingers are clenching around his pencil. He keeps his hand near Chris' knee after that. Although he can't resist sliding back up when they're almost finished.

And by the time they are, Zach thinks they'll probably have to wait to leave so Chris can calm himself down.

He's not wrong.

He's occupied with his phone, telling Zoe offhandedly he'll meet them at the restaurant she's chosen for their last meal before filming begins.

Amused, Zach goes with the rest of them to the door, agreeing with whatever Anton is saying before clapping him on the shoulder. "I'll get Chris," he says and seeing nothing unusual about that, Anton nods and goes on his way.

Finally alone, Zach turns around, trying not to be too smug and failing completely. Judging by Chris' expression, which is somewhere between reproof and lust. Good combination as far as Zach is concerned.

"You're going to kill me," Chris tells him seriously as he pushes back his chair and stands. Zach makes a show of looking at his crotch, and then slowly back up to his face. He's blushing again.

"I like teasing you," he says, pulling him in as soon as he's close enough; to nuzzle his neck. "I think I'll keep it up during dinner."

"Maybe I should sit next to Zoe instead," Chris mutters. Zach nips his throat.

"Don't you dare."

Chris inhales slowly and his voice is rough as he agrees, "I won't."

"Mm, I like you like this too," he says quietly.

"Like what?" Chris asks, voice thready.

"Compliant. Obedient. Hard," he murmurs. Rubs gently at his crotch to feel his dick growing in his hand. "Waiting for me."

Chris makes a strangled sound just as the door opens. They spring apart, Zach moving instinctively in front of him although he's not exactly soft either. It's one of J.J.'s assistants. She gives them a brief smile before snagging a leftover script on the table and leaves without a word.

Zach lets his breath out and turns to find Chris smiling. "What?" Zach asks; his own lips are echoing.

"Nothing." Chris shakes his head; shrugs. "It's just… it's nice."

Zach knows exactly what he means. They move back together at the same time, to meet for a long kiss.

-o-

He doesn't tease too much at dinner, because Chris needs to concentrate on eating. And he wants him to the enjoy the conversation. But Zach keeps a hand on his leg the entire time, just rubbing gently; squeezing sometimes when their eyes meet.

They're sitting on the same bench, and he wants to drape an arm across his shoulders when they're finished. Chris is leaning against him anyway, but he's not sure how out he wants to be.

Something they need to figure out.

Zoe's eyeing them across the table, glance flicking between their faces. Zach doesn't change his expression, but she smiles anyway and ducks back to her food. Zach starts when Chris' hand lands on his leg.

Zach glances over at him. Chris smiles, his thumb moving back and forth. He continues on even when he turns away to answer Cho's question about whether or not he wants to get up a game of basketball during the weekend.

The warmth in Zach's chest isn't new, not when it comes to Chris, especially lately, but like this it _feels_ new.

-o-

Zoe's choice of club is thankfully nothing like Matt's choice. There's not a whip to be seen, although it does make Zach wonder if Chris might like to go to a club like that with him. With the understanding that no one else is allowed to touch.

He's not sure how he feels about the idea.

"What are you thinking about?" Chris asks him. They're heading toward a table, close together without even thinking about it. And it's dark, of which Zach plans to take advantage.

"Dancing," he says, against his ear because of the noise. And that's to his advantage as well. "And feeling you up in a dark corner."

Chris looks over at him, surprised. But it's obvious he likes the idea. His arousal tells are ridiculously easy to read. Zach asks anyway, "Objections?"

"Um, no."

With that permission, Zach checks to see where everyone is claiming a table—for later—and pulls Chris into the crush of dancers.

He knows they should be concerned about cell phones and nosy fans, but Chris doesn't seem to care either. He slides into Zach's embrace willingly, arms around his neck while Zach pulls him close by his hips.

It's too dark, really, to be too concerned. The music just a throbbing backbeat. Zach follows its rhythm and Chris moves with him, their eyes locked through the smokey haze.

Lost to each other, to the feel of Chris' body against his own, his erection pressing into Zach's thigh. His hands wander to Chris' ass, pulling sharply so their cocks grind together.

Chris gasps, lips moving to meet his. For a deep, desperate kiss. And that's as much as Zach can take. He moves them toward a dark corner, pushes Chris into the shadows to kiss him again. To palm his dick. Chris pulls his face away, trying to draw in a breath.

It's dark but he can see Chris' face so he knows Chris can see his too. But he doesn't want him to panic. "This okay?"

"Yeah," Chris breathes.

Zach wriggles a hand down his pants. "How about this?"

"Yes, _fuck_." That last as Zach finds his dick. Catches the pre-come with his thumb and jerks him roughly. He kisses him again, rests their foreheads together when they need to catch their breaths. Until Chris' are ragged, his balls tight.

He pulls his hand away, reveling in Chris greedy whine. He wants to put his hand back and stroke him until he comes. But this is what Chris said he wanted. So Zach shakes his head, kisses his cheek. "When we get home," he promises. "You're being so good."

Chris' chest is heaving, his fingers tugging at Zach's shirt. "Can I… Let me touch you?"

Laughing hoarsely, Zach captures his mouth again, mumbling, "god, yes," around his tongue.

Chris fumbles with his zipper, but he gets him free just a second later, moans appreciatively as he wraps his hand around it, his other dipping down to caress his balls. Breathing heavily, Zach catches the wall, holding himself up with a shaking arm as Chris works him over. He keeps his mouth pressed to Chris' jaw, wants him to know he's safe. That Zach isn't going to let him go. Won't ever let anything happen to him.

"So good," he mutters. "God, Chris, so good for me…"

Chris turns his head, lips hungry as they kiss. He pulls away before Zach is ready, drops to his knee and Zach almost falls forward, not expecting it. Or the hot mouth that closes around his dick. Chris' cheeks hollow and Zach is shooting, come swallowed down neatly.

And then Chris is standing up, letting Zach press him into the wall. Letting him squeeze his dick, so hard now. Probably leaking. But he doesn't ask for more, just lets Zach play with him. And when Zach pulls away, he's smiling, debauched; beautiful.

-o-

They take their time finding the table where their friends are drinking and laughing. Time enough that Chris has calmed down. They're still locked at the hip when they get there, but no one seems to notice. Or maybe they just don't care. Which is fine with Zach.

He slides into the booth, but Chris stays where he is, fingers scratching idly beneath the hem of his shirt as he asks, "You want something to drink?"

He's talking to Zach, but ends up taking orders from half the table, with Zoe and Anton popping up to help.

Chris smiles at him as he walks away—dragged away by Zoe more like. She's chattering next to his ear, probably trying to get information from him. But Zach doesn't mind, would rather everyone knew anyway. Easier not to hide things.

He's distracted by Karl and Pegg, who wants to debate some nuance about the new script that they don't like. He doesn't really have an opinion, although they insist he should because he's spent so much time with Leonard discussing Spock.

He fakes it though, appeasing both of them for the moment and lets his eyes wander over the club, to the bar where Zoe and Anton are laughing about something. And to Chris. Some guy is leaning into his space, smiling and gesturing.

Zach's stomach tightens unexpectedly.

He watches Chris shake his head, as he pulls away when the guy looks like he's insisting. Chris says something to Zoe, who nods. They collect their drinks from the bar and make their way back to the table.

Chris sets Zach's drink down in front of him and slides in. "Hey," he says quietly, squeezing his knee beneath the table. Not as good as a kiss and since Zach's arm is over the back of the booth he can't reciprocate. "Zoe thinks we're fucking," Chris whispers.

Not really surprised, Zach whispers back, "We _are_ fucking."

"I didn't deny it." Before Zach can find a reply to that, Chris smiles and settles against his side. With the warmth in his chest renewed, Zach lets his arm fall over Chris' shoulder.

–o-

They go back to the dance floor eventually, bodies pressed close and both of them aching for more.

"Home?" Zach asks, when he doesn't want to wait any longer. And Chris' jerky nod is answer enough. They tell Zoe they're leaving, and she just smirks at them and waves them on their way.

They take a cab home, Zach finally resorting to reciting Spock's lines in his head when the need to touch Chris becomes overwhelming. Chris, for his part, has his hands clenched on his thighs, his head turned toward the window.

And when they get to Chris' house—Harold and Noah are staying with Joe tonight—they barely make it to the door. But once it's closed tight behind them, Chris reaches for him, opens to him when Zach's tongue pushes in.

Zach walks them backward to the bedroom, only losing his way a few times—distracted by Chris' mouth; and his hands tugging at his shirt. "Not yet," Zach mutters, pulling his hands away, holding his wrists as he backs him into the wall just inside the bedroom. Kisses him until Chris has to pull his head away to gulp in air. "I want you naked."

He lets Chris go then, watching avidly as Chris strips out of his shirt, pants and underwear too, so that his cock springs out; heavy and waiting. And as much as Zach wants him; to spread him out over the bed and fuck him, he wants even more to tease him.

"We should get a cock ring for you," he says, keeping back to look him over. "You like that idea, don't you?"

Chris nods. He's watching him, fingers rubbing at his sides; probably anxious to touch. Zach steps in closer, just to drag his lips up Chris' jaw, to nibble gently at his ear. He lets his fingers close softly over the collar. "What do you want?" he asks. "You want me to touch you?"

Another nod. Which is not at all what Zach wants. And he thinks Chris should know better by now. "Words," Zach reminds him, tapping at his hip for emphasis. And he doesn't miss the way Chris' eyes widen. Encouraged, Zach smiles. "You like that?" he asks, running a hand over the swell of his ass. "You like being spanked?"

It's raspy, but unmistakable, Chris', "Yeah."

Zach runs a warm hand over his stomach, an anchor, and slaps his ass. Not very hard, but it makes Chris arch back into him. Zach tucks him into his chest and slaps him again, moving his other hand to stroke his dick. Chris is leaning against his forearm, letting Zach hold him up. Panting when he smacks him again, squirming.

Zach pulls him back sharply and bites at the back of his neck, beneath the collar. Chris tries to push back into him but Zach nips him again; keeps him where he is while he digs into his wallet for a packet of lube and a condom; where they've been waiting all day just for this.

"Don't move," he says softly, working the packet open and squirting it over his fingers. He tosses the packet and the condom onto the bed for later and slips lubed fingers between Chris' ass cheeks, prodding at his taint. Chris spreads his legs a little, without being asked and Zach chuckles. "Eager, are we?"

Chris is too busy panting to answer him.

Zach pushes a finger in, still stroking his dick too. Works him to the edge until Chris is almost there. Stops just before he is, kisses at his neck again; soft until Chris is wriggling back, trying to find stimulation. "Not yet," Zach tsks. "I want to fuck you first. Be good for me or I won't let you come."

Chris stops moving, lets his weight rest against Zach's arm.

"Will you be good for me?" Zach asks, kissing the perspiration from his skin.

"Yes." And he is, holding perfectly still, his legs still spread, but no longer pressing back. Just waiting.

"Such a good boy," Zach whispers. "Put your hands on the bed for me."

Chris does as he's told, ass presented so beautifully that Zach wants to take him just like that. He undresses quickly, off to the side so that Chris can watch him, and then draws fingers up his spine. "Do you want to be fucked like this?" he asks. "Or on the bed?"

"Bed," Chris answers immediately and that works for Zach too. He squeezes his neck lightly.

"I want you on your knees." He doesn't mean to hold his breath, but he does. Wondering if Chris will object. When he doesn't, Zach leans over his back, hands sliding down his arms. "I want your ass in the air while I whisper filthy things into your ear."

And if Chris needs to see him, he'll be right there, their faces pressed together. Chris is biting his lip as he nods. Zach slaps his ass, a reminder that doesn't need words apparently.

"Yes," Chris gasps. "Please…"

"Since you asked so nicely," Zach teases, patting his ass. "On the bed."

Chris moves quickly, cheek pressed to the covers as he lifts his ass into the air. Zach keeps eye contact with him as he rubs over his ass, squeezing and pinching until Chris is flushed a deep red. He gets a dollop of lube before he presses a finger in, another, working him open again until he's begging for more.

For Zach's dick to fill him up.

Zach coats his dick and slowly slides in, listening to Chris' breathing, to his moans, watches his face as he looks his fill. But once his balls nestle against his ass, Zach leaning over him, to take his wrists in a firm grip, Chris closes his eyes.

Pushes back to meet him thrust for thrust.

"You feel so good," Zach tells him, kisses at his ear; his neck. Teeth too, scraping just enough to make him shiver. "You want to come?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to touch your dick?" he asks.

" _Please_."

"Not yet," Zach breaths over his shoulder. "Not until I'm ready. How does that sound?"

"Good," Chris grunts. But he's pleading in the next second, when Zach shoves in hard, a gabbled string of syllables that only vaguely sound like words. Definitely sounds like begging.

Zach releases his wrist and finds his dick, and Chris' body shakes with a half-sob of relief. "Shh," Zach soothes him, nuzzling the back of his neck. "Shh, you've been so good, Chris. So good for me." He strokes him hard, twisting on the upstroke and Chris' dick pulses in his fist.

His face mashed to Chris' back, his groan muffled, Zach comes too.

He doesn't want to move, would prefer to just stay here all night, but after a few minutes, Chris is squirming under him. With a grunt, Zach pulls out. Chris sighs, deep and satisfied as he rolls over, flopping against the bed. Zach joins him a second later, cradles his face to kiss him for a long time.

Until they need to breathe and then he kisses his face instead, his jaw. "How do you feel?" he asks, voice hoarse as he tries to catch his breath.

"Good," Chris assures him. "… fucking amazing."

Zach smiles and moves back to his mouth to kiss him again. He could do this all night if he wasn't so tired. Orgasm delay, definitely on the to do again list. " _You're_ amazing," he says after awhile and gets Chris' face pressed to his neck in reply. "Do you want to shower… sleep?" he suggests as Chris yawns against his skin.

"Sleep," Chris mumbles. "Lots of sleep."

Zach tucks him closer. He runs a light hand over his ass. "Do you need anything?" He didn't leave marks, none on his wrists either. Nothing that should need any attention. But he wants to be sure.

"I'm good."

Nodding, Zach kisses the curve of his ear. "And all of that worked for you?"

"Yeah," Chris says quietly, kisses his throat. "Worked great. Did it work for you?"

"Hell, yeah."

He can feel Chris smiling against his skin. "I do feel safe," he says eventually; soft like a sigh. He burrows closer, and Zach closes his eyes, letting the warmth overtake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so ends our tale. Thanks for reading.


End file.
